SpitBoo - Inner City Bruva

SpitBoo - Observations of business from an inner-city bruva

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October 17, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Citigroup traders got clobbered by volatile markets- CNBC Bought at the top and sold at the bottom
Occupy Wall Street: Images From the Front Lines- Y! Finance Soros denied he was funding OWS
RIM shares shed 5 percent after apps offer- Reuters The gang that couldn't shoot straight
Apple sells 4M iPhone 4S in 3 Days- Reuters What recession?
Expect a 20% year end rally: JPM’s Tom Lee- Breakout I was expecting 30% but I'll take 20%
Stocks sink as Germany downplays debt summit- Reuters Another trick in the jig in progress
Lowe's closes stores, lays off 1,950 workers- Reuters Home Depot's next
Consumer confusion: Sales up, confidence down- Daily Ticker No confusion once you look at the forest
BP, Anadarko settle Gulf disaster claims- AP Pointing fingers have been lowered

October 12, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Stocks rise on hopes for European bank plan- AP So the contagion's all fixed up now?
Billionaire investor Paulson fires back at critics- WSJ Sap's not going to run for much longer
EU unveils plan to boost health of banks- AP Taking from Peter to pay Paulina
Wall Street protests draw overseas attention- AP Occupy your job
Sprint to reveal IPhone impact to fix ‘mistake'- Bloomberg Hesse lost credibility
Got a crisis? Tap AIG (really)- WSJ Titans to toddlers in 3 years
BlackBerry outages spread to North America- Reuters RIMM's firing on no cylinders
Cain ‘9-9-9’ tax plan captures debate spotlight- Bloomberg I approve of this 9% flat tax, SON
Is Japan’s Uniqlo the next great American retailer? Nah, fiery love affairs never last long

October 07, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Apple: The design spotlight is thrown on Ive- WSJ Synaptics should step it up
Jobs Report: The numbers are stark- Daniel Gross, Y! Finance Starkly resilient...
Stocks struggle for direction after payroll data- Reuters Retail is getting plunged like the old days
Obama's 'growing desperation' could yield better policy That gang of nitwits wouldn't yield anything
How Greece could escape the euro- NY Times ...by booting out all the wastrels?
Wall Street protesters express disgust with both parties- AP Both parties are the same
Home ownership sees biggest drop since Great Depression Doesn't matter anymore, SON
Moody's downgrades a dozen UK banks- AP Moody's ain't got nothing on the UK
3 bold picks to profit from a sideways rally- Breakout Sideways motion isn't really a rally...

October 05, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Stocks rise as service sector, private hiring grow- AP Five waves down completed yesterday?
U.S. dollar is the monetary titanic: Peter Schiff- Breakout Schiff is pretty bad at making analogies
Vital Greek aid tranche is likely - but not assured- Reuters Nope, it's guaranteed to wastrels, patzer
Wall Street protest expected to widen- AP Revolution might be at hand before 2012
In Kodak's troubles, a snapshot of an icon's fall- AP Landscapes change and titans falter
France sees Dexia solution by Thursday- AP Quicken the rescue lines to the banks
Oil climbs for first time in four days- Bloomberg In the end, it's doomed to desertion
Strike by Greek civil servants shuts down gov't- AP Wastrels sucking at the Greek teat
Americans forced to be increasingly frugal- The Daily Ticker We see it in our retail businesses

September 30, 2011 Headlines and commentary

China manufacturing gains in Sept but exports weak- AP October to December should speed up
Verizon sues to overturn 'net neutrality' rules- AP Usage barometers make sense
SEC report cites flaws at credit rating agencies- AP No shit, took you 3 years to figure it out
Bank of America debit fee is only the latest- AP Gotta make that money for shareholders somehow
Kodak shares plunge as bankruptcy fears escalate- AP Their patent portfolio's going to be snapped up
A summer many investors would rather forget- AP Winter will make up for the sanguine summer
Stocks end gloomy 3rd quarter on a weak note- AP Trends come and they go so a new one's about to start
AT&T wants Sprint suit over T-Mobile deal quashed- AP Sprint's like a nettle in AT&T's sandal
Eurozone inflation jumps to 3 percent in September- AP Going higher on the back of wastrels wasting

September 27, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Investors buy euro debt plan talk, stocks surge- Reuters The events of the past week were a shenanigan
Race for cash: Romney lures Wall Street donors - Bloomberg Rich scalping the rich for funds... ironic
Are you ready for Apple's next iPhone?- NYTimes Yeah, let the rabid fanboys foam at the mouth
Inaction isn't an option for European crisis- WSJ Manufactured crisis of the highest order
Bull market in precious metals is not over: Strategist- Breakout Bears are grunting at the possibilities
Ben White: Chris Christie won't save the GOP- The Daily Ticker Only naive men make 'salvation' statements
Goldman, the incredible shrinking investment bank?- Reuters Divestiture might be one way to divert rancor
Boeing 787 dreamliner finally takes off- TheStreet Inaugural flights are always breathy
Was Meredith Whitney's muni call wrong?- CNBC No one's infallible on the sell-side, SON

September 14, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Stocks jump on hopes for progress on Greece's debt- AP So the contagion was just a ruse?
Express Scripts sues Walgreen in contract dispute- AP Big business, can we all just get along?
French, Greek, German leaders discuss Greek crisis- AP Rope 'em in like wild doggies
Yahoo co-founder urged to help oust chairman- AP Jerry Yang's back is against the wall
Report: BP ultimately responsible in Gulf spill- AP Doesn't matter much now, does it?
Cautious consumers pull back on retail spending- AP They'll go all in when November rolls around
Sirius XM to raise price for basic package- AP Shareholders should love that
Toys R Us expands exclusive toy offerings- AP Differentiate themselves from Walmart
Moody's downgrades SocGen, Credit Agricole- AP France is in the spiral of wastrels

September 09, 2011 Headlines and commentary

CSK Auto to pay $20.9M, settle securities charges- AP Get a slap on the hand, go on scheming
G7 officials brush off calls for more unity- AP No one really likes each other, SON
Fear about Europe, US drags Dow down 300- AP Destroy and then search for answers
Economists show support for Obama job-growth plan- AP Economists are a sad lot of patzers
Small businesses mildly hopeful on Obama jobs plan- AP It's a false hope from a broken messiah
NFL season jumpstarts the economy- AP Hot dogs and beer are good
Oil down 2 pct. on Europe debt concerns- AP Superfluous reasons dreamt up by donkeys
Cantor Fitzgerald: surviving 9/11, and thriving- AP Can't keep a bond trader down

September 08, 2011 Headlines and commentary

30-year mortgage falls to 4.12 pct., record low AP Most people don't qualify either, SON
Export spike hints at firmer growth, jobs weak Reuters Productivity prohibits additional hiring for now
The Market During President Obama's Time in Office CNBC Obama, Hey Mister Talisman, Talisman me Banana
Jobless claims rise; trade gap narrows Reuters Workers support the unemployed through the government
Euro stays lower vs. dollar after ECB keeps rate s … Bloomberg Greek wastrels will be booted soon enough
Bank of England resists calls for more stimulus Bloomberg - 6 hours ago Don't let the bankers hold a gun to your temple
IEA sees no more releases of emergency oil stocks AP - 5 hours ago Not necessary when the world is awash in oil
Fitch warns of downgrades for China, Japan Reuters - 5 hours ago Fitch are a bunch of busters
Stocks to watch: Caliper, Smithfield TheStreet.com - 6 hours ago Street.com shilling on the real
US, rich nations need to support growth, OECD says AP - 5 hours ago Growth is self-supporting, stupid

September 06, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Oil falls to near $84 on global slowdown fears- AP Silly ass ruminations and reasons dreamt up
Gold surges 1 percent to record on growth woes- Reuters It's on a run to US$2500
Swiss franc slumps, European stocks recover poise- AP Nice reversal of fortune after it looked like doom
World Bank expects slow U.S. growth, no recession- AP World Bank isn't a gang of Nostradamus are they?
Obama mulls tax cuts beyond Republican plans- Bloomberg Nothing needs to be mulled, just baked into the batter
China reshuffles engineers of economic boom- Reuters Sleeping giant isn't so sleepy anymore
Dell, Baidu team up for tablets and mobiles- Reuters None can usurp the iPad juggernaut
Unemployed face tough competition: underemployed- AP That's right and more competition's coming
Assange accuses Guardian of 'negligence'- AP Pot, have you met Kettle?

September 05, 2011 Headlines and commentary

237 platforms, 23 drilling rigs evacuated for Lee- AP Lee's asserting his influence on Big Oil
Obama yields on smog rule in face of GOP demands- AP Puppet Prince and cuttlefish backbone
Feds sue big banks over sales of risky investments- AP A little too late don't you think?
Stocks plunge after US hiring dries up in August- AP Not the reason why they plunged, SON
James Murdoch turns down $6M bonus over hacking- AP As he well should; He's an altruist
Oil down nearly 3 percent despite storm- AP Traders have more influence than Nature
Starbucks CEO hosts town hall on politics- AP Politics is the great sham of society

September 02, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Stocks plunge after US hiring dries up in August Estupidos should get ready for the crash
Oil down 2 percent on discouraging jobs report Should be down a lot more than that, SON
Astrazeneca shares fall on flat Crestor results Future prospects are dashed, let's all panic sell
Greece, troika disagree over deficit Wastrels will never allow long-term austerity
Experts downbeat on global economy Experts are usually a crew of peer-reviewed-patzers
Employers add no net jobs in Aug.; rate unchanged Market sells off like a bunch of rubes
Quake risk to reactors greater than thought There's going to be a Fukushima-like event here
Campbell Soup adjusted profit tops Street view Soup's the poor man's meal during tough times
Life on an oil field 'man camp' -- not for everyone Some fellas would enjoy it though
Liz Claiborne selling Mexx in joint venture deal Divestiture is good in the new world order

August 26, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Hurricane Irene to hit state, city budgets- Reuters Irene's going to whimper and whip ya
After Apple's fall, is it time to buy or sell?- AP Apple fell? Who writes these headlines?
Ben Bernanke, existentialist- Daniel Gross, Y! Finance Daniel Gross is a buffoon
Stocks rally after Bernanke's speech; VIX sinks - AP Stocks are rallying because of buying
Biden: U.S. needs more stimulus- Reuters A know-nothing opens his mouth
Troubled Spain amends constitution to limit debt- AP Wastrels working on a recession
Utilities bracing for widespread power outages- AP Better not turn off my computer
Boeing's Dreamliner becomes commercial reality- Reuters Dreamliner sounds overdramatic
Stocks to rally up to 14%: Loomis Sayles Portfolio Manager- Breakout Rollercoaster's going to ramp

August 23, 2011 Headlines and commentary

European banks must pay up to borrow $100B- Bloomberg Might as well take the lifeline and croak later
New home sales likely fell for third month- Bloomberg Of course, due to expectations of doom
Head of rating agency S&P stepping down- AP Sharma's going to dodge a bullet
10 things to know before the opening bell- Business Insider None of the information there is useful
Spain eyes constitution change to limit deficit- AP Spaniards and Greeks should get together
Apple suppliers building cheaper, 8GB iPhone- Reuters I still don't want one, SON
UBS axes 3,500 jobs in cost-cutting push- Reuters Axing another 3,500 in 6 months
Oil above $85 as Libya rebels battle for control- AP Shill market for the oil market, get it?
Nintendo jumps on talk of 3DS add-on, revamp- Reuters Nintendo's like a waning phoenix at this juncture

August 22, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Stocks inch higher, shaking off 4 weeks of losses- AP Way off the highs like Debbie Downer
Getting Libyan oil back to market could take years- AP Where there's a will, there's a big way
$103M to expand broadband Internet in rural US- AP Ya'll get down there and speed things up
Greece expects recession to deepen- AP Wouldn't argue with the wastrel state
Ford, Toyota to work together on hybrid trucks- AP Cooperation instead of competition?
More Americans at risk of foreclosure in Q2- AP The slope is slippery and wet
Skype buying group message system GroupMe- AP Microsoft overpaid for Skype but whatever
Survey: Small raises for salaried workers in 2012- AP Bosses are saying they should be happy to work
Lowe's to buy back up to $5 billion of its shares- AP Confidence is a shaky thing in this market

August 18, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Bond yields drop as 10-year hits record low, 1.99%- CNNMoney Earning squat so where to go next?
Rate on 30-year mortgage falls to lowest on record- AP Meaningless because no one qualifies
Gold hits latest record high, near $1,830- AP Target price of US$2,000 is guaranteed
Stagflation signs surface in bonds, stocks, gold- CNNMoney Way too early to be bringing up stagflation
Market sell-off: Blame Europe- Daniel Gross, Y! Finance Nah, blame self-fulfilling recession prophecies
Oil falls sharply as banks cut growth forecasts- Bloomberg Sell before everyone else gets out
Investors turn bullish as market crumbles- TheStreet Buy when others are fearful but it might be early
Who's worse: U.S. Banks or Bernie Madoff? - The Daily Ticker Bernie Madoff although the banks are close
Is the Fed preventing a housing market rebound?- TheAtlantic Wouldn't be a thing to trumpet, SON

August 17, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Core wholesale inflation up most in 6 months- AP Inflation will continue to ramp
BofA weighs foreclosure deal: report- Reuters Government will force its hand in any deal
Germany will lead the global downturn- MarketWatch Self-fulfilling prophecies are in play right now
Upgrades and downgrades- Minyanville Upgrades should be sold and downgrades bought
U.S. banks won't fail. They'll fizzle- SmartMoney Some banks will fail because they deserve it
Fed's low rate pledge "inappropriate": Fed's Plosser- Reuters We're stuck with the low rates for 2 years
Buyers wary of building bubble- WSJ The bubble's been in place for 10 years
The unhealthy tomato economy - Daniel Gross Pasta cries for tomatoes, SON
Gold, oil & the dollar: Correlation breakdown is concerning says Yamada Respect to the old lady cuz she's sterling

August 16, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Ahead of the bell: Housing starts- AP Housing starts are going to be lousy, big surprise
Home Depot 2Q net income rises on storm repairs- AP One silver lining in selling building supplies and materials
Buying is cheaper than renting in most U.S. cities- CNNMoney If you can qualify for a mortgage, that's great
King to write 7th letter on U.K. inflation- Bloomberg Inflation is headed upwards even if it's a modest ascent
Merkel, Sarkozy to try to tame debt crisis- AP It's going to be settled by more monetary enslavement
Oil falls below $87 as weeklong rally stalls- AP A bounce that refreshes albeit only temporarily
UK consumer price inflation rises to 4.4 percent- AP It might stall around that area as pricing power fails
Credit card delinquencies mostly improve in July- AP People are catching up by paying the minimum balances
Why Buffett should volunteer to pay higher taxes- Daniel Gross, Y! Finance He won't however since he's a cagey old man

August 15, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Oil above $85 as stock markets regain footing- AP Last week wasn't a flash crash but it was close
Transocean to buy Aker Drilling for $1.43B- AP Deals afoot means cash is plentiful in the coffers
Gold may fall for third day as shares rally- Bloomberg The blowoff top might have been in the rearview mirror
Buffett pushes Congress to raise taxes for billionaires- Bloomberg Nah, put the burden on the hapless working class
Bank funding stress threatens Europe credit crunch- Reuters Ignoring it will tell me if the bull is back in control
Concessions show influence of China's middle class- AP More like the appearance of influence, SON
'Doomsday' defense cuts loom large for select 12- AP It's not like the military complex won't get their money
Germany reiterates 'no' to eurobonds- AP Shows who's in the driver's seat of the Euro
Will free trade deals create or cost U.S. jobs?- CNNMoney It'll probably create jobs in unexpected fashion

August 11, 2011 Headlines and commentary

US stock futures rise after week of wild swings- AP Maybe the Panic of the Summer 2011 is over
French growth sputters to a halt in 2nd quarter- AP French will fight austerity just like the Greeks
China's enthusiasm for high-speed rail stalls- AP They'll get their appetite back in 2013
Westfield buys half of Milan shopping mall site- AP Mafia will want a cut of that, for sure
Oil falls below $85 as traders eye EU debt crisis- AP I would have expected $78 by now
Peabody, ArcelorMittal gain regulator's approval- AP Juggernauts tend to try to get bigger before laxity
Ahead of the Bell: Business Inventories- AP I'd expect inventories to be down, SON
Ahead of the Bell: Retail Sales- AP Retail sales will ramp up next month
This time, US fears a financial crisis from abroad- AP What has changed since the Asian contagion?

August 09, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Fed may bolster stimulus pledge on recession fear- Bloomberg FED should just let it be and let it float
Oil tumbles below $78 amid U.S. recession fears- AP Oil bounced overnight to $80.94 again from $76
China inflation rises to 37-month high in July- AP China's the source of the next contagion
Plunge on Wall Street threatens to spook consumers- AP Threaten? Already done and consumer's dying
Markets and the economy: Riding crests and troughs- AP Like a rollercoaster that undulates onwards
Trichet says ECB in secondary bond market for now- Reuters ECB's on unsteady footing for now
UK PM recalls Parliament for rioting crisis- AP It'll die down like Los Angeles died down 2 decades ago
Home price recovery slips out of sight- CNNMoney Yep, no recovery until 2020 at the earliest
We need policy, not more posturing — and now- Daniel Gross Continuing to state the obvious won't change anything

August 08, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Macke: Don't blame the downgrade- Breakout That's right, blame Washington's gang of wastrels
Greece bans shortselling as stocks tank- AP Shit like that never works
AIG sues BofA for $10 billion alleging "massive fraud"- Reuters AIG was complicit too weren't they?
Moody's: Why we aren't downgrading the U.S. - CNNMoney Moody's got a gunsight on their backs from Buffett
Verizon shares slump as 45,000 workers strike- Reuters You mean they're slumping like every other stock today?
The case for more spending to prevent a recession - Breakout Spending borrowed money... what a great solution
Oil tumbles, gold tops $1,700 - AP Probably headed to US$2000 now that fear rules again
Welcome to the new world disorder- The Daily Ticker Shades of 2008 are haunting Wall Street today
After the downgrade: Rates on Treasuries stay low- CNNMoney Flight to safety is an oxymoron, sort of

August 07, 2011 Headlines and commentary

European Central Bank confers on Italy crisis- AP Let the country fail, recoup, and then rebuild, SON
AP source: G-7 to discuss central bank action- AP G-7 are made up of debtors and wastrels. How 'bout dat?
Jobs report is good enough to calm Wall Street- AP S&P downgrade of U.S. probably a non-event on Monday
Elisabeth Murdoch delays taking seat on News board- AP Her name is tainted anyway so just plod forward, madame
DuPont to yank herbicide blamed for killing trees- AP Tell Monsanto to rein in their Frankenstein seeds too
Viacom fiscal 3Q earnings grow 37 percent- AP Corporate earnings aren't the problem, the U.S. gov't is
Stocks end a day of wild swings mostly down- AP Might be another wild ride on Monday, like a bucking bronco
Consumer borrowing up in June by most in 4 years- AP How else are consumers going to finance their lifestyles?

August 05, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Oil near $85 as outlook for crude demand dims- AP Cut through $88 like butter, $82 is next, then $78
Payrolls awaited as markets fear recession- Reuters New recession is highly unlikely, SON
Merkel, Sarkozy to speak as crisis rages- AP What concessions will be sought now?
What will the jobs report mean for the sell-off?- Y! Finance Nothing, lost nearly 10% in the market already
Stock market plunge hurts seniors, parents- CNNMoney Duh, it hurts everyone estupido
China, Japan urge global talks on economic crisis- Reuters Manmade crisis that blew to attention
Moody's affirms AAA rating, lowers outlook for U.S. - CNNMoney Should've downgraded the U.S.
Online jobs index dips in July, gains from year ago- Reuters Monster.com is eatin' them up
Food stamp use rises to record 45.8 million- CNNMoney Lots of folks are on the dole, playboy

August 04, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Yen sinks after intervention; stocks near lows- Reuters Dollar shot up 3.7% to 79.90 after hitting 76.29
Market Preview: Another glimpse of the jobs picture- TheStreet The picture is shoddy and that's a fact
ECB to halt rate hike cycle, pressured on bond buys- Reuters Forced to become wastrels like the mongers of the world
Kraft Foods to split into two separate units- Reuters Unlocking value for shareholders
Currency wars enter 'new stage'- Bloomberg Dollar wants to go down for the count
EU urges changes to bailout fund- AP It's an ongoing effort that requires flux
Can't get no relief: Economic news sours investors- AP Nope, it's just margin killing SON
Oil below $92 amid grim US, Europe economy outlook- AP First target is $88 and then $82
Obama: Debt debate shows stakes in 2012 election- Bloomberg Debt doesn't matter because it's always been there

August 02, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Markets fret over U.S. economy despite debt deal- AP The debt deal didn't do anything but kick the can
Stocks to watch- TheStreet Don't just watch 'em, sell 'em
Barclays to cut 3,000 jobs as profit drops- Reuters Cut the fat once the money stops flowing
Oil falls to near $94 as U.S. economy weakens- AP Oil should be $88 right about now, SON
Is a balanced budget amendment a good idea?- NYTimes Sure, why not buddy?
Strong yen fuels talk of currency intervention- AP Intervention didn't work before and won't now
Obama debt deal shakes trust of supporters - Bloomberg Obama is a wolf in sheep's clothing
Geithner was ready to calm markets amid debt talk turmoil- Bloomberg Like he can calm anything? Pssh.

August 01, 2011 Headlines and commentary

House OKs debt bill, Giffords brings down House- AP Of course it was going to pass after the theatrics
Experts say US could still lose AAA debt rating- AP Good, it deserves to lose the AAA debt rating
Consumers get scant relief from debt deal- AP It wasn't supposed to be a magic potion...
Jana, Ontario teachers buy stake in McGraw-Hill- AP Not a bad investment if you enjoy inertia
Concerns about the economy end early Dow rally- AP Things are going to pick up
Ford to recall 1.1M pickup for gas tank problem- AP Explosions are gnarly on pickups
FCC seeks more channel choices in cable lineups- AP I normally only watch 2 channels
Manufacturing growth hits lowest level in 2 years- AP It's a seasonal slowdown
Oil falls on weak manufacturing reports- AP Not the reason why it should be falling, SON

July 29, 2011 Headlines and commentary

World stocks lower amid US debt nervousness- AP Man-made machinations to whip markets
Struggling with debt, Congress talks defense cuts- AP The entire thing should probably be exploded
Meet the countries with AAA ratings- CNNMoney USA's still up there so settle down now
Bomb blast hits oil pipeline in western Syria- AP Trying to stop the flow of the spice
Samsung second quarter profit slides 18 percent- Reuters It's alright though, keep on keepin' on
Nintendo shares plunge after 3DS price cut- Reuters No, it's because the profit forecast got quartered
BSkyB dishes out $1.6 billion to calm investors- Reuters Money is the panacea of the misbegotten flock
Continental raises sales forecast on price hikes- Reuters Raise prices and make more money from a captive crowd
Moody's threatens Spain rating cut- Reuters Saber rattling in the modern day isn't as fun as the olden days

July 28, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Stocks set for bounce; debt ceiling in focus- Reuters The debt ceiling means nothing, it's a show
Oil hovers above $97 amid US crude supply jump- AP If it refuses to die, it must getting ready to rise
HSBC may cut more than 10,000 jobs: report- AP Attrition in the ranks for the cause of profits
Jobs top priority for likely 2012 voters- Bloomberg Jobs aren't the priority for anyone in government
Shell profit soars as big projects pay off- Reuters Investment for the future generally does pay off
German jobless rate up to 7 percent- AP Just a part of the summer doldrums
Volkswagen in $6.9B profit but warns on outlook- AP Conservative guidance to avoid backlash later
Gold trades near all-time high - Bloomberg Trading vehicle is being traded higher
James Murdoch said to have backing of BSkyB board - Bloomberg The board that's in his pocket? That board? Yeah.

July 27, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Conservatives squeeze Boehner on debt limit hike- AP These old men should be ousted for clownishness
Deal or no deal? US downgrade looking likely- AP Does it really matter at this point? Implied.
World stocks weighed down by US debt concerns- AP Just buy the dips and sell the rips
Oil falls to near $99 after US crude supply jump- AP Short term shenanigans before the plummet
LG Electronics 2Q net profit plunges, sales fall- AP Commodity producers don't do well in the world
White House veto threat on debt sends stocks lower- AP Not really the reason but if it helps you sleep
Clorox rejects Icahn's second bid- AP Icahn's a pretty good predator, ya gotta admit
McDonald's: Apple slices in every Happy Meal- AP Ick. Apples. Pectin leaches nutrients. Apt.
Are REITS overvalued?- CNBC Yeah, whatever.

July 26, 2011 Headlines and commentary

BP Chief ‘open’ to refining spinoff- Bloomberg Anything to unlock value, SON
Ford says 2Q profit falls as costs rise- AP Sputtering engine of the American car trade
Credit Suisse may cut up to 2,000 jobs: report- Reuters Attrition hitting the bankers too
Obama adviser: No time for 'doomsday scenarios'- AP Let's rush things and botch everything
Walmart puts Vudu on its main site to drive use- Reuters Kingmakers based in Arkansas
Chrysler set to outpace Fiat, merger seen closer- Reuters Chrysler is cancerous
2 gold miners ETFs to watch- TheStreet Gold is waiting for the fall (Double meaning)
LinkedIn tightens ties between jobseekers, employers- Reuters Overvalued trading vehicle

July 25, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Futures sharply lower on debt gridlock- Reuters If sharply lower means 100 DOW, good
Should BP break up? - Bloomberg JPM thinks it's worth 100B broken up
Moody's warns Greek default virtually 100 percent- AP Yeah, bunch of anti-austerity wastrels
Geithner: Almost 'out of runway' on debt ceiling- CNNMoney August 2 is the drop dead date, SON
Gold surges to record on U.S. debt impasse threat- Bloomberg Gold is cruisin' for a bruisin'
10 things to know before the opening bell- Business Insider Why not 8 things to know before the bell?
9 stocks to watch: E*Trade, RIM, Netflix- TheStreet E-Trade won't be bought out anytime soon
China's Apple frenzy triggers wave of smuggling- Reuters Fake China Apple Stores
CBS: The backdoor to Netflix's earnings- TheStreet I remember when NFLX was $16

July 22, 2011 Headlines and commentary

EU leaders offer $229B in new Greek aid- Bloomberg They'll keep on giving until dissolution
Netflix's 2Q results take back seat to rate hike- AP Greed trumps everything in 'Murika
Stock index futures signal gains after GE earnings- Reuters The hedge fund in drag is coming back
McDonald's profit up on growth in Europe, U.S.- Reuters Everyone's eating Mcnuggets and McRibs
10 things to know before the opening bell- Business Insider Shite knowledge herein every time
Amid debt talks, House budget plan faces Senate- AP Dog and pony show for the benefit of no one
Apple joins Hulu bid talks: report- Reuters The right kind of content is king
Caterpillar profit misses Street forecasts- Reuters Farmers don't need that many tractors?
Oil heads for $100 as Greece aid deal reached- AP Waiting for contango....

July 21, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Senators' deficit plan calls for tradeoff in taxes- AP One head of the hydra, SON
Germany and France reach deal on rescue plan for Greece- NY Times Wastrels win another round, for now
Global slowdown signs strengthen, debt crisis weighs- Reuters Keep looking for the downside...
Whirlpool results miss Wall Street estimates- Reuters Who's buying washing machines, bastard?
Nokia posts $523 million loss, lower sales in second quarter- AP The Apple juggernaut is destroying them
Entire Apple stores being faked in China- AP Gotta admire the tenaciousness
Oil declines on Chinese manufacturing, dollar- Bloomberg Trading vehicle that should be retired
Eli Lilly profit falls, but sales beat forecast- Reuters Keeping the nation hooked on drugs
Tax breaks for capital gains threatened in bipartisan deficit-cut proposal- BB Benefits the wealthy the most so why not?

July 20, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Borders end to have ripple effect across country- AP Physical books are going obsolete, ya'll
American Airlines may split up big jet order- AP Scraping those pennies and nickels together
Borders end to have ripple effect across country- AP News feed listed this twice for emphasis
Apple results strong; record iPhone, iPad sales- AP Stock's up almost $20 in the premarket
Yahoo 2Q revenue drop overshadows earnings gain- AP Yahoo's toast and they'll be eaten soon
Wells Fargo turns to cost cuts as recovery stalls- AP Recovery's just getting in gear, jackal
Lawmakers call for hearings on robo-signing- AP Did they just wake up from a deep slumber?
Stocks rebound on earnings, debt-limit proposal- AP They'll continue skying, SON

July 15, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Carl Icahn offers to buy Clorox in $10.2 billion deal- Reuters Detergent, what a business
Stress tests compromised by Greek non-default- Bloomberg Banks are playing shell games, SON
Italy to give final OK to austerity package- AP Pssh, like they should be giving any okays
10 things to know before the opening bell- Business Insider ...
TSMC to make Apple chips on trial: source- Reuters Taiwan's gotta push China like oxen
Dollar falls as S&P puts U.S. on review- Bloomberg Wouldn't mean much if US is downgraded
Debt deal stymied by Republican White House candidates, Democrat activists Stymie would be a good nickname for them
Minnesota shutdown to end soon- CNNMoney Of course, the wastrels have to keep wasting
Credit Suisse targeted in US tax evasion probe- AP Swiss banks are complicit in chicanery

July 14, 2011 Headlines and commentary

World stocks cautious after Moody's U.S. warning- AP Traders are jumpy, what's new?
Ahead of the Bell: Unemployment benefits- AP Trending sideways, is my thinking
Foreclosures plunge in first half of 2011- CNNMoney They'll ramp up again by the summer
Gold surges to record as debt fear drives demand- Bloomberg Misguided trades but mind the trend
10 things to know before the opening bell - Business Insider What everyone knows isn't worth knowing
Google margins and new social product in spotlight- Reuters Margins will be down but Google+ is up
Murdochs summoned to testify in phone hack inquiry- AP They'll shrug and say, "I dunno"
Oil giant ConocoPhillips to split into 2 companies- AP Unlocking value for shareholders
The truth about taxes: How high today's tax rates really are- The Daily Ticker Prohibition is when you make hay

July 12, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Stocks waver as Wall Street weighs euro debt fears - Reuters Euro will continue to be propped up
Oil falls to near $94 as US dollar strengthens- AP Oil is a fool's game at this late stage
EU revives buyback idea as crisis hits Italy- Bloomberg Roiling wastrels on the run
Riskier loans make a comeback- WSJ Must plan for the next Armageddon
Time to diversify: The best funds' bets- Barrons.com Manage your own account and profit
10 stocks to watch: Radiant, ReneSola- TheStreet Sell-side patzers on the dole
Technicals point to stock price ceiling: Kahn - Barrons.com Low interest rates drive speculation
Fear & loathing in the bond market- Breakout Greed and fear know no bounds
Bank's deal means more will lose their homes- NYTimes The American Dream is a cesspool

July 11, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Debt limit deal eludes Obama, leading Hill figures- AP Default is an impossibility so STFU
Greece, Italy top agenda at EU finance chiefs meeting- Reuters Wastrels leading the way for the Euro
Oil falls below $95 after weak U.S. jobs report- AP It's going to be down below $80 soon
Best currency forecasters say dollar slump over- Bloomberg Rocket ride up with Japan/Europe down
Macarthur Coal receives $5.1B Proposal- Bloomberg Old school coal getting bids
Obama and Democrats skirt the issue on tax hikes- AP Read my lips, "There will be more taxes"
Slow China growth leaves Wen few options- Bloomberg Slow growth is better than no growth, idiot
Strauss-Kahn saga exposes flaws in Europe’s Greek debt-crisis management Like anything is a surprise at this point?

July 09, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Regulators shut banks in Illinois and Colorado- AP The total should be 100 closures by eoy
How bad is it? Pawn shops, payday lenders are hot- AP People need fast cash for expenses, SON
Flat jobs data signal weakest recovery in decades- AP The spigots should be opened next year
Stocks sink after dismal June jobs report- AP Nah, it was just another plunging
Consumers borrowed more for 8th month in May- AP Banks are lending again to the rabble
Challenge to Groupon's model with trio of deals- AP Groupon's facing big competition
Oil falls over 2 percent on weak US jobs report- AP Should be down for the count soon
Obama: Uncertainty over debt limit impacts hiring- AP Puppet-head doesn't know what's up

July 08, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Futures fall sharply after jobs report disappoints - AP Economists should quit already
Oil hovers below $99 ahead of key US jobs data- AP Knock it down and stomp on it
Debt ceiling: Perils of a 'grand bargain'- CNNMoney How to impoverish a nation 101
Obama: Still differences on debt, new talks Sunday- AP Just another puppethead to bobble
10 things to know before the opening bell - Business Insider I'm going to delete these henceforth
Ex-Cameron aide arrested in UK hacking scandal- AP How to run a rag 101
BMW to buy ING's car leasing division- AP BMW's going for the vertical structure
Exclusive: EU states to rescue bank test failures- Reuters Joined at the hip until dissolution
SEC to meet Chinese counterparts- Reuters Teach the Asians white collar corruption

July 07, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Banks meet IIF in Rome for Greece talks: source- Reuters Bankers will control Greece afterwards
World markets rise, brushing off China rate hike- AP The bull market will be relentless
Lawmakers visit White House for budget talks- AP Dog and Pony show on the road
No home price rebound in sight: Survey- CNNMoney Not for another 8 years on the whole
NYSE shareholders seen embracing merger- Reuters NYSE was meant to be devoured, SON
Murdoch gets dangerous for Cameron- Bloomberg Fox News, laughable
Consumer delinquencies tick up in first quarter- AP Times are tough, ya gotta make do!
Oil rises to above $97 after US crude supply drop- AP Such B.S. in the oil market...
Cloud ETF causes stir with Netflix pick- TheStreet Bullish tendencies, at least short term

July 06, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Greek banks ready for rollover, investors meet- Bloomberg Greeks protest anti-wastrels
Stock index futures point to falls for Wall Street- Reuters It's called consolidation after a big run
Planned layoffs rise in June: Challenger- Reuters Summers are slow, it's no surprise
Oil below $97 amid strong emerging market demand- AP Nonsense articles written by fools
Banks sell consumers' shopping data to retailers- CNNMoney Scraping every last nickel they can
Jobs and GDP forecasts bleak: CNNMoney survey- CNNMoney Things will get roaring again next year
Moody's says 26 banks may need stress test support- Reuters Moody's is a shill service, son
10 things to know before the opening bell- Business Insider Stop writing these articles, they're useless
Banks chafe at pay clawbacks in liquidation plan- Reuters Banks would chafe at the Pope's presence

July 05, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Secret Service to probe hack on Fox News Twitter- AP It's punishable to threaten the President
Bank of America wants to remove Tamarack ski lifts- AP Who wants to sit anyway? Go stomping
The economic recovery turns 2: Feel better yet?- AP Not really but maybe in the third year?
Airlines positioned for big gains in efficiency- AP Fees will still go through the roof
Next gen video games let players control the story- AP Duh, it's been like this for a while...
Google temporarily disables 'Realtime' search- AP Trying to integrate that Google+
NY pols seek to make business signs mostly English- AP Nothing wrong with bi-lingual either
In Strauss-Kahn case, DA weighs limited options- AP Give it up, she's a tainted participant
Use care buying into a company's buyback fever- AP Thanks for stating the obvious, Sherlock

July 02, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Exxon oil spill in Mont. river prompts evacuations- AP Exxon's always spilling that shit
The economic recovery turns 2: Feel better yet?- AP No, but maybe the third year's the charm
Nissan plant open Saturdays amid power crunch- AP Gotta churn out those vehicles no one's buying
Gas is 24 cents/gallon cheaper than Memorial Day- AP Should be down by another dollar soon
Ex-IMF chief freed without bail; charges stand- AP Maid sex was consensual? LAME.
Bayer to pay $750M in genetic rice settlement- AP Monsanto's turn is next...
Stocks close huge week with rally; Dow up 168- AP Trend followers jumping on board
US auto sales up in June, but Japan still hurting- AP Japan's going to be booming next year
'FarmVille' creator Zynga to go public- AP Raising a billion on the back on social games

July 01, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Oil prices slip below $95 on China production data- AP Trending down because the trade's broken
US rules partially against Kodak in Apple dispute- AP Kodak is the aging bear of photography
Geithner says he'll stay for 'foreseeable future'- AP Vulcans can't leave well enough alone
Tests show wireless network could harm GPS systems- AP Electronic interference is serious
Stocks dipped in June, but some think it's a blip- AP A blip on the road to a monster up move
Larger corn crop could slow food inflation- AP Supply swamps demand, whodah thunk?
Dealerships spruce up: Cappuccino while you wait?- AP I'd prefer quick and honest service
'Skills gap' leaves firms without worker pipeline- AP The 4-year college degree is useless
Unemployment benefit applications stuck above 400K- AP Keep focusing on that number, estupido

June 30, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Report: American Airlines to replace US fleet- AP Good news for airplane producers
Goldman Sachs warns that layoffs could reach 230- AP Like the rabble would care?
Stocks rise as Greece nears debt solution- AP Beware of Greeks bearing good news
Oil near $95 amid hopes for Greek debt resolution- AP Oil should be pounded downwards
Fed orders banks to lower retailers' debit fees- AP Banks be reaping in other ways
Justin Timberlake part of group buying MySpace- AP They're going to make a music portal
FDA panel: Revoke drug's breast cancer approval- AP Intuition tells me that they're right ;)
Greece set for final vote on cuts after riots- AP Enough of the Greeks, next crisis please
Q3 investment strategies- CNBC Buy and Hold; Keep it simple stupid

June 29, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Sony to reshuffle games management after hacking- Reuters Security concerns being addressed
China's Buffett-backed BYD says profit down 84 pct- AP The old man hits a bump
Ex-Lehman director faces prescription forgery charge- Bloomberg Oxycontin is a hell of a drug
France to name new finance minister- AP How about nominating a non-wastrel
Toyota to recall 82,200 vehicles in the US- AP GM's going bankrupt again eventually
Anatomy of a trade: Cut your losers -- fast- Breakout Astute but stating the obvious
Global dealmaking slows on market slump- Bloomberg Things will pick up again
Zynga IPO could raise $2B, file Wednesday: source- Reuters Shoveling shares to the suckers
Papandreou bids to avert Greek default- Bloomberg Won't be allowed to default

June 28, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Spring buying boosts home prices in 13 U.S. cities- AP What happened the armageddon?
Consumers' confidence down in June on job worries- AP Three years and counting...
Wall Street extends gains on Greece hopes- Reuters Greece was never an issue, SON
Obama's choice on jobs: Politics or policy- NYTimes Obama's choice is nada, not his to choose
Big banks becoming public utilities: Strategist- CNBC Wrong. Public utilities aren't that ravenous
Rich? Have we got the credit card for you- WSJ The rich are generally frugal
Apple retail employee: It's time to unionize - The Daily Ticker Is he a hipster with union goals?
Dollar and gold ready for stocks to rally: Strategist- Breakout Yep, rally like a rocket

Bank of England chief calls for more transparency- AP Opaque is the word, SON
Sony faces jittery shareholders after cyberattack- AP Who to go after for the damages?
Oil above $91 as Greece austerity vote awaited- AP Slam it back down for the count
Microsoft puts Office in the cloud, confronts Google- Reuters Win back the hearts of the rabble
Wall Street stock futures slip; Greece in focus- Reuters Trading is like ping-pong; to and fro
Obama to talk economy, not politics, in Iowa- AP An economy that's about to roar
California budget proposal contains deep spending cuts- CNNMoney Austerity measures in the USA...
Debt ceiling talks turn to taxes (higher taxes!)- CNNMoney Tax everyone to oblivion
Why some pros still believe a big stock rally is coming- CNBC This talk makes me nervous...

June 27, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Oil near $90 as dollar gains amid Greek crisis- AP Breakdown imminent
Facebook overtakes Microsoft in UK- Reuters Facebook will face attrition eventually
Fed may buy $300B in Treasuries after QE2- Bloomberg FED is the facilitator of the cabal
10 things to know before the opening bell - Business Insider Shite information is shite
French banks ready for big Greek debt rollover- AP Wastrels on the road to ruin
Central banks need to raise rates: BIS- Bloomberg Won't happen for another year at least
5 ETFs to watch this week- TheStreet ETFs are a bunch of busters
Stocks don't need stimulus: Strategist survey- CNNMoney I am in agreement with this individual
China reports local governments owe $1.6 trillion- AP Big money debtors, just like the USA

June 25, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Stocks end another week lower on Europe worries- AP Europe is the sick man of Europe
FTC's antitrust inquiry turns up heat on Google- AP Goliath is under attack and siege
Jump in factory orders hints at stronger growth- AP Growth will continue for another 2 years
CEO Interview: Southwest co-founder Herb Kelleher- AP Airlines are picking everyone's pockets
Obama steps into high-stakes debt-limit talks- AP None of it matters and it's all for show
Brazen, publicity-seeking hackers on attack spree- AP High profile sites are the targets
Regulators shut small Georgia bank; 48th in 2011- AP Should hit 100 closures by year-end
AP source: KKR, Silver Lake near deal on Go Daddy- AP $2.50 billion for a registrar
Protecting your portfolio- CNBC Buy puts if you're paranoid, SON

June 23, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Bernanke says some economic problems may persist- AP Telling everyone the obvious
Fed dims outlook for jobs and growth for 2011- AP Underpinning the recovery
FedEx 4Q net income rises 33 percent- AP Dichotomy right there, ehh?
Merkel warns against Greek debt restructuring- AP That's exactly what's happening
Fed acknowledges economy is growing more slowly- AP Doesn't jibe with the profits but okay
Hedge funds come under new government oversight- AP So they can't destroy the markets anymore?
Greek PM faces huge pressure with austerity vote- AP Wastrels are rioting in the streets
Stocks mixed ahead of Federal Reserve meeting- AP Down and out before the moonshot
FDA concludes silicone breast implants mostly safe- AP Never mind your destroyed health

June 22, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Mortgage applications declined last week: MBA- Reuters Maybe because banks aren't lending?
FedEx 4Q net income rises 33 percent- AP Consumerism is on the rise again
Apple plans faster iPhone for September: report- Reuters Sprint got 4G for the speed, SON
An open (and imaginary) letter from the Fed Chief- Breakout Bernanke isn't even the problem, dummy
Oil falls below $94 after mixed US supply report- AP It's time for the fall and the dam to break
QE2 ends: Fed policy to have anticlimactic end- CNNMoney None of it matters in the end
10 things to know before the opening bell - Business Insider STFU
China says no cyber warfare between it, U.S.- Reuters USA is probably instigating
Howard Davidowitz: Apple will be fine without its retailing god - Daily Ticker Apple's got millions of acolytes

June 21, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Airbus, Boeing bag new contracts at air show- AP Trade shows are where it's at
Nokia unveils new smartphone- Reuters The war's over, only skirmishes now
Best Buy OK's $5B buyback, raises dividend 7 pct- AP Got to back that stock price
Walgreen profit gains as generic, store sales rise- Reuters WAG draws them in with schwag
Paulson may deal clients $720 million loss- Bloomberg Sino-Forest fucked a lot of people
Fitch sees risk of Greece, U.S. debt defaults- Reuters Fitch should get out of the rating biz
Ahead of the bell: Home sales- AP Home sales are booming! Jackass.
10 things to know before the opening bell - Business Insider How about 5 things to know?
Taken to task: President Obama needs to back Elizabeth Warren- Daily Ticker Nah, he doesn't have to back anything

June 20, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Markets slip after no final deal on Greek aid- AP Aid is guaranteed so why fret and fritter?
United and US Airways resolve computer outages- AP Commerce goes on and the world spins
States look to Internet taxes to close budget gaps- AP Barking up the wrong tree
Deal would speed cuts in western coal pollution- AP Sort of like carbon credits, laughable
Questions and answers about Greek debt- AP Wastrelism and indolence are on the rise
Penney's shopping experience could be transformed- AP iPods are vastly different from lawn chairs
Emails rebuke Maine gov for labor mural removal- AP Remove art and lay waste to the city
Spanish marchers protest unemployment, austerity- AP Wastrels abound everywhere
Why Wall Street still says buy, and you shouldn't- AP Wall Street leads the world, SON

June 16, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Greek PM reshuffles plan in doubt as deputies quit- Reuters Austerity measures weren't well received?
Citi says 360,000 customers hacked in May - Reuters More than originally expected
RIM faces tough sell on Q1 earnings and outlook- Reuters Apple ate RIM's lunch and dinner
Oil rebounds above $95 amid Greece debt fears- AP Should be headed for the 80s
Boeing: $4 trillion in new aircraft needed by 2030- AP Replacing old fleets is paramount
Treasuries advance; 2-year yields hit 2011 low- Bloomberg Wish I could get a third mortgage
CIA website goes down, hackers claim responsibility- Reuters Too many secrets to uncover
Foreclosures fall again, but housing not safe yet- CNNMoney Banks could work with borrowers ....
Russia, China set for gas deal despite price row- Bloomberg The China Price has new meaning

June 15, 2011 Headlines and commentary

World stocks down as China, India rate hikes loom- AP Nervous nellies need to GTFO anyway
Gold may gain for second day on Greek debt crisis - Bloomberg Fool's Gold and the Quixotic Quest
Oil hovers at $99 amid falling US crude supplies- AP Phantom reasons for oil rising...
Kissinger, Huntsman: U.S., China need cyber detente- Reuters I can't fap to this
White House wants business to aid in debt cap fight- Reuters Obama's team are like the Keystone Cops
Pandora prices at $16 per share, above range- Reuters Don't open Pandora's Box
Republicans dodge farm subsidy cuts- AP Farmers got their hands out
JPMorgan Chase shuffles executive positions- AP Bunch a bustas with their shell game
Pawlenty’s 5 percent growth solution makes historical sense- Y! Finance Yawn. Promises, promises.

June 14, 2011 Headlines and commentary

World markets higher despite China inflation jump- AP The plunge of the last six weeks is done
Hackers break into Senate computers- Reuters Break into NASA next and release UFO photos
NY lawyers: Affair with boss led to inside trades- AP Sex equals money right there
Oil hovers above $97 amid global economy fears- AP The break's in progress, look out below
Minnesota government shutdown looming- CNNMoney Guess money really does make the world spin
Carstens questions European leading the IMF- AP As long as the new leader's complicit, who cares?
Nokia, Apple settle patent dispute- AP Licenses and IP power the economies of the world
Best Buy same-store sales seen down again- Reuters Best Buy will be aight though
Jobs prospects improve in most economies: Manpower- Reuters Can't be in the doldrums for eternity...

June 13, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Is silver a buy right now?- Breakout More like a sell near the peak
Wendy's agrees to sell Arby's to private group- AP Haven't have their roast beef in ages
Rattled by Lehman--again- WSJ Lehman got taken out by a hit team
Obama to announce plans to cut government waste- AP It'll never happen, ever
Will generous pay on the Street hit a wall? - WSJ Better not, I have to make my mint

Apple store employee seeks to plant union seed- Reuters Bust that union, son
Oil falls to below $99 on Saudi crude output boost- AP Freefall soon like you wouldn't believe
Allied World to buy Transatlantic for $3.2 billion- Reuters Dropping dimes on dimes
Samsung to end 14-year Nokia smartphone reign: Nomura- Reuters Apple took over the driver's seat
Commentary: Medicare cost control not a death panel- CNNMoney Hm, you don't say?
5 ETFs to watch this week- TheStreet Someone can tell the future, I guess

June 12, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Libya's rebels claim resurgence; government denies- AP Battle of the megaphones
New firms join Canadian bid for Toronto exchange- AP Nasdaq should enter the fray
Iraqis blast US congressman's war repayment idea- AP Congressmen are useless
Bye-Bye bidets! US troops leaving Saddam palaces- AP Living like kings
Comcast's $4.4B Olympian bid a bold online bet- AP Comcast's diversification onus
Expert: Weaker Africans to benefit from free trade- AP Free trade is never really "free"
Volcanic ash strands 30,000 in Australia, NZ- AP Best to be stranded than blazing
NRC chief in hot seat for scrapping work on dump- AP Watch what they do, not what they say
South Texas enjoys major boom from oil fracking- AP Fuel is the fire that burns the economy

June 11, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Merkel: debt crisis mustn't endanger economy- AP Debt crises are engineered, son
Ohio judge says Ford must pay dealers $2B- AP Is that moral hazard or something else?
Latest data breach strikes at financial security- AP Financial breaches have been happening
Dow falls below 12K; stocks drop 6 weeks straight- AP Let's make it 7 weeks, Sell in May and go away
Saudi Arabia production boost sends oil lower- AP There wasn't supposed to be a boost
AP Sources: Ally postpones public stock offering- AP Get ready for Facebook next year
Budget deficit moves closer to $1 trillion mark- AP The next milestone will be $2 trillion
Fed proposes expanding capital reviews to 35 banks- AP Small fry will be waxed and distressed
Travelers expects $1B cost from spring storms- AP Mother Nature is an expensive woman

June 10, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Toyota expects annual profit to fall 31 percent- AP Fukushima left it's mark
Oil near $102 a barrel in Asia on supply anxiety- AP The oil market is a serious joke
Hackers nab card data from 200,000 Citi customers- AP Incomplete data so it's aight, right?
Nintendo's task: The Wii, again, more, better- AP Ninty's shares near their lows, SON
High unemployment claims, food prices slow economy- AP 90% of the country is working...
Americans' equity in their homes near a record low- AP Second mortgages will do that to you
Ackman takes largest stake in Family Dollar Stores- AP Betting big on retail seems iffy
Slow economy weighing on stock market, finally- AP Guess 2008-2009 didn't weigh
Ford to build hybrid-only minivan- AP Fuggedaboutit already

June 09, 2011 Headlines and commentary

More ads hit online TV as Web audiences grow- AP Web rules
Oil rises above $101 after OPEC output unchanged- AP Traders have an excuse to ramp it up
Delta bag fees for soldiers ignites backlash- AP It's business, not personal?
Merchants beat bankers in Senate debit card vote- AP Fees will rise elsewhere
SEC cans Web campaign to buy beer company- AP Liquor it up, son
Pfizer trying new twist on academic collaborations- AP Pfizer's market cap will double
Fed survey: Economy falters in several US regions- AP It's not like imbalances are new
Fitch to review US rating if no debt ceiling deal- AP Forget Fitch and the other babblers
Is market correction normal?- CNBC No, it's the first time it's ever happened

June 08, 2011 Headlines and commentary

GM, Ford try to calm investors' jitters- AP "Investors" should quit it
Nintendo debuts touchscreen Wii successor- AP Controller looks unwieldy
Bernanke: Economy slowing but faster growth ahead- AP No wun knows anything ;)
Stocks fall again as Bernanke offers no stimulus- AP That wasn't the reason, genius
OPEC split over increasing oil production- AP Open the floodgates
Companies pulled back on job postings in April- AP They'll return with a vengeance this fall
Food prices slightly lower- AP Where's the monster of inflation?
AP analysis: Economic stress at 2-year low- AP Jobless recovery or something like that

June 07, 2011 Headlines and commentary

IMF open to extending terms on Greek loans- Reuters The IMF is always open to "terms"
Merkel goes to Washington for plaudits- Bloomberg Yawn
China official warns on "excessive" holdings of U.S. assets- Reuters Just jawbonin' cuz they got not choice
Sony unveils new handheld device, seen expensive- Reuters Playstation Vita priced at US$249
Frontline billionaire bets tankers collapsing- Bloomberg He knows wassup with oil too
AP analysis: Economic stress at 2-year low- AP Mixed signal, at best...
Bernanke to take spotlight and assess economy- AP Just another old man at the helm
House GOP: Cut the federal workforce by 10%- CNNMoney I can attest to this
Still-frail Jobs appears to hail Apple's latest- AP Billions mean nothin' without health

June 06, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Goldman may release papers to counter report- Reuters Vampire squid got skills
Apple's Jobs to take the stage as iCloud hype grows- Reuters The Cloud is the future, SON
Economic stimulus runs dry- CNNMoney Taps can be opened at any time
Obama Fed pick withdraws, slams partisan politics- Reuters Politics is the great American fail
Greece to start austerity drive as nation seethes- Reuters Wastrels don't like not wasting
Strauss-Kahn will plead not guilty, Lawyer says- Bloomberg He said, she said case coming to court
Plosser: Stimulus exit plan would give stability- Bloomberg World was stable before too, y'know
State, local governments set to see record job cuts, layoffs- CNNMoney Government just grows and grows

June 05, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Iraq finalizes 2 promising gas deals- AP Gotta keep the money rollin' in
China shops for Latin American oil, food, minerals- AP Sleeping giant is waking up
Parties maneuvering on debt and Medicare- AP Shuffling the obligations around
Nintendo's Wii successor to dominate E3 expo- AP Best have touchscreens, son
Nintendo says US server breached, no data lost- AP Awareness rising
Another hack at Sony; 120 passwords go online- AP Sony's learning from the hits
E-cigs: No smoke, but some areas are banning them- AP Must be bothered by the sight of them

June 4, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Bleak jobs report dampens hopes of steady growth- AP Guess the money people want quick progress
Trade group says US service sector grew in May- AP McDonald's and Burger King are on fire
Regulators shut small SC bank; 45 failures in 2011- AP Not bad and we're at the halfway point of 2011
Stocks post fifth straight week of losses- AP Sell in May turned out to be valid advice
Wal-Mart unveils mini-stores near dollar rivals- AP Squeeze the mom 'n pops even more
Wal-Mart CEO pushes plan to keep retailer growing- AP Like a juggernaut with octopus arms
Orexigen puts obesity drug development on hold- AP Tell 'em to stop eating so much
China calls US culprit in global 'Internet war'- AP Yep, the sleeping Giant is cognizant

June 03, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Job growth could be weakening as economy sputters- AP It's a slow boil for jobs to recover
Chrysler to sever U.S. government ties- AP Government Motors doesn't have panache
China calls U.S. culprit in global 'Internet war'- AP China's the sleeping giant, son
Ahead of the bell: Service sector index- AP I'd work in the service sector as a buster
Hackers attack another Sony network and post data- Reuters LulzSec at work and schooling Sony
PayPal to end partnership with Alibaba- Reuters Does it make sense to help a rival?
Greece to impose deeper austerity for new rescue- Reuters Riots and wreckage on the horizon
Debt ceiling effect on the bond market- CNNMoney Debt ceiling means nothing for wastrels
Mladic appears at UN tribunal to face charges- Bloomberg Dog and pony show about to begin

June 02, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Job gains help states narrow budget gaps- AP Building gains upon gains soon, I think
World shares slide on signs of slowing US growth- AP Margin destruction was what I saw
Oil falls below $100 after surprise US supply jump- AP Traders just jiggling the price, son
Alibaba CEO: Yahoo knew of plan to divest pay unit- AP CEO-sauce is getting old
Google says Chinese hackers broke into Gmail- AP Let's blame everything on the Chinese
Signs point to an economy growing more slowly- AP At least it's growing, babycakes
New car buyers may have to wait to find bargains- AP Incentives will awaken when needed
Federal board to investigate Delta union election- AP Vote rigging like in the big elections?
Are large-caps set to rise?- CNBC They've already rose, slowpoke

June 01, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Private sector adds 38,000 jobs in May- Reuters Better than contracting, son
Greece to complete bailout talks by Thursday: paper- Reuters Bailouts are the answer nowadays
Former Google CEO 'screwed up' on Facebook threat- AP He's not CEO material
Oil near $103 amid falling dollar, rising stocks- AP Nonsense reasons being attributed
Planned layoffs up slightly in May: Challenger- Reuters They'll pick up again in the fall
The economy’s weak and getting weaker: Mish- The Daily Ticker Mish is a shuffling joke
Marathon Oil buys Texas oil fields for $3.5B- AP Energy is a commodity...
Wednesday's stocks to watch and analyst actions- Breakout Uselessness in display
Is China's growth starting to slow?- Daniel Gross Yeah, why not?

May 30, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Lagarde in Brazil to promote IMF candidacy- AP Campaigning like a Boss
Russia lifts deposit interest rate unexpectedly- AP Trend has to be higher, SON
Germany decides to abandon nuclear power by 2022- AP Zero point energy on the horizon
Chinese e-commerce giant opens furniture showroom- AP Bricks and mortar aren't dead yet
Lockheed attack highlights rise in cyber espionage- AP Risks have always been out there
Airline fuel bills today are anything but peanuts- AP Millions consumed by traders
Tech mogul pays bright minds not to go to college- AP Because academia is close-minded
American Airlines wins either way in NBA Finals- AP Sponsorship. That's what I need
Why safe corporate bonds aren't so smart anymore- AP Risk taking is back in vogue

May 29, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Greenpeace activists climb Greenland oil rig- AP Buncha bustaz wasting resources
Lockheed Martin hit by cyber attack- AP Remember that movie Firewall?
Culture clash complicates China's Brazil push- AP Intermediaries and emissaries needed
UNICEF discloses vaccine prices for 1st time- AP Buncha bigger bustaz wasting resources
FDA approves Optimer drug for hospital infection- AP Money train on the way, son
Biden trumpets resurgent US auto industry- AP Pssh, old man should sit down already
Japan, EU to start talks on free trade agreement- AP Diplomacy and congeniality in play
Gas tanks are draining family budgets- AP Since 2008, dumbass
Faulty readings ahead of 2009 Air France crash- AP Sadeness 2009

May 27, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Tiffany 1Q earnings up 25 pct, raises year view- AP Luxury is back in style
Heinz 4Q profit climbs, will cut 800 to 1,000 jobs- AP ... so is catsup and sauces
Stocks edge up, shaking off weak economic news- AP It's a bull market, said Old Turkey
Energy prices held back growth in first quarter- AP Energy should be down, down, down
Honda sees near-normal American production in Aug.- AP Fukushima's in the rearview mirror
More people applied for unemployment benefits- AP Unemployment rollercoaster
Fixed mortgage rates fall to 2011 lows- AP Only one direction now, UPtown
Sony sees return to profit after third annual loss- AP Sony's got style and longevity so yeah
Report: Sales of foreclosed homes fell in 1Q- AP No bidding wars until 2020, SON

May 26, 2011 Headlines and commentary

More people applied for unemployment benefits- AP Up 'n down like a rollercoaster
Futures lower after GDP, jobless claims disappoint- Reuters None of it matters, befriend the trend
Big Lots profit slides; discounters struggling- AP Blanket statements make zero sense, son
This bull market will continue: Jeff Kleintop- Breakout Yep, for at least another 2 years, at least
Hedge fund star calls for Microsoft CEO to go- Reuters Not his call, but the behemoth stays put
Oil slips on economy worry- Reuters The oil market is stupid
Foreclosures for sale: Big supply, low prices- CNNMoney Prices will continue to trend downwards
White House unveiling plans to curb regulations- AP Buncha bustazz nukkas right there

May 25, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Treasury says may get $7.1B from AIG stock sale- AP Selling shares to suckers
Barnes & Noble launches touch-screen Nook for $139- AP Another niche product
Coffee drinkers keep chugging, as prices rise- AP Commodities under control
Chrysler repays $7.6B in government loans- AP Contagion is over?
Stocks slip as worries over Europe linger- AP Europe is an old man
Troubled home market creates generation of renters- AP The mantra of owning is over
1st-qtr late credit card payments hit 15-year low- AP Spending should ramp soon
El Paso plans to split into 2 separate companies- AP Conglomerates break
Troubled banks made up about 12 pct of total in Q1- AP Improving scenario before the next one

May 24, 2011 Headlines and commentary

AIG to price share sale for Treasury sell-down- Reuters Spreading the cost to buyers
Sony says Greece music site security breached- AP The hits keep on coming
Stocks to watch and analyst actions- Breakout Buncha bustas right there
Oil rises to near $99 as Goldman boosts forecasts- AP Stop manipulating the market
Greek default won't be 'contained': Mauldin- The Daily Ticker Oh yes it will, dumbass
Oil rises to near $99 as Goldman boosts forecasts- AP Goldman's word is law?
Go with the flow — downward: Lydon- Breakout Don't fool yourself, SON
Moody's warns UK banks of potential downgrades- AP Should've downgraded already
Goldman, Morgan Stanley bullish on oil- Bloomberg Guess they're long and strong
Stimulus contractors owe $750 million in back taxes - CNNMoney Savages all around

May 23, 2011 Headlines and commentary

World markets slide amid growth and debt worries- AP Summer selling season is here
Oil falls below $98 amid stronger US dollar- AP Nope, just the natural trade trend
LinkedIn shines light on re-emergence of big IPOs- AP They'll probably waffle downwards
States shorten duration for unemployment benefits- AP Arkansas down to 25 weeks :(
Prepaid cards attract money launderers- AP Nice and easy way to shuffle money
Scientists: Iceland's Grimsvotn volcano erupting- AP Same thing happened last year, SON
In free market, seeds of Africa's food solution- AP Let the people grow their own food
India woos Africa to boost trade- AP Gotta look at all avenues and options
A smart dividend investment strategy- CNBC Dividends are a nice income stream

May 20, 2011 Headlines and commentary

NYSE working with Shanghai on international board- Reuters Nasdaq should be building empires
Oil rises to above $99 amid weaker US dollar- AP No, it's rising because traders' buying
Brown: Not making pitch for IMF chief job- AP Lagarde is in the driver's seat, fool
Friday's stocks to watch and analyst actions - Breakout Ignore these at your benefit
Invasion of the Chinese reverse mergers- The Daily Ticker Chinois are invading everything
Japan's central bank keeps key rate at near zero- AP Can't do nothing in stasis, son
BP cuts oil spill burden with $1 billion Mitsui deal- Reuters Spread the risk by partnering
China Telecom in touch with Apple on CDMA iPhone- Reuters iPhone empire
Are Americans recovering their lost financial self-esteem?- Y! Finance Yeah but wait until the next crisis ;)

May 19, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Futures gain ahead of jobs, housing data- Reuters The train's rolling out of the station
Japan in recession after economy shrinks 3.7%- Bloomberg Fukushima will revitalize the country
Citi awards CEO bonus plan worth nearly $23.4M- AP A victim of circumstance ;)
Glencore's record IPO makes muted debut- Reuters Priced for perfection and ready for fall
LinkedIn's IPO priced at $45 a share- AP Watch it trade up 15% on greed
Stark: ECB would reject Greek bonds after restructuring- Reuters Beware of Greeks bearing gifts
IEA makes rare formal plea to oil producers- Reuters Kill the traders for the right results
Fukushima may have leaked before tsunami- Bloomberg Good to know...
Rich spend, others scrimp, retail reports show- AP This has always been the case

May 18, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Consumers must watch for unregulated credit cards- AP Awash in credit and liquidity
Coast Guard reopens part of Mississippi River- AP Let the waters flow from floods
Geithner: GOP will bear responsibility for default- AP You mean the taxpayers will...
Company abandoning pipeline project in Alaska- AP Cutting losses before they mount
Geithner: Strauss-Kahn not in position to run IMF- AP Sounds like a hit job to me
Dell profit jumps as computer maker cuts costs- AP Nasdaq should benefit today
LinkedIn raises IPO ante amid high investor demand- AP Internet wealth is building again
Homebuilders missing out on economic recovery- AP Can't wake up the dragon yet
Lower H-P outlook and economic concerns sink Dow- AP Non-factor but the traders are jumpy

May 17, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Eurozone endorses Draghi to become next ECB head- AP Interconnected complicity
The Great Recession's lost generation- CNNMoney Two lost generations in two decades
Oil falls to below $97, extending 2-week sell-off- AP Hedgefunds long, will be crying soon
Strauss-Kahn spends night on Rikers island- Bloomberg Sounds like a set-up to me
Federal workers facing more cuts- CNNMoney Abolish big government
HP to pull trigger early on results after CEO memo- Reuters Buy out LOGI son
IMF crisis opens the door to emerging nations- AP IMF is a shite organization, anyway
EU's Juncker weighs "soft" Greek debt restructuring- Reuters Platitudes to reach ;)
Home Depot's sales miss expectations- Reuters It's on the upswing.... eventually

May 16, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Futures pressured by euro zone uncertainties- Reuters Pressures that shouldn't pressure
Oil falls near $98 as traders eye US crude demand- AP Wait for the tumble to renew itself
Dubai steps in to take over cash-strapped bank- AP Dubai is the glittering illusion
BP seeks TNK buyout to save Rosneft deal- Bloomberg BP was sabotaged last year, SON
Monday’s stocks to watch and analyst actions- Breakout Slight pullback today to reset
Sears Shows the Softer side of serial stock buybacks- Breakout Sears is a bunch of busters
Police seek evidence of sex attack from IMF chief- AP Dude's an old ass horndog
Debt ceiling deadline: Why it matters- CNNMoney It really doesn't
RIM recalls 1,000 Playbook tablets: report- Reuters Stumbling against the iPad giant

May 13, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Crisis-hit Portugal enters double-dip recession- AP Should be a short pullback son
Oil rises to near $100 as US dollar weakens- AP Squash the traders and all's okay
Glencore to close books early on $11 billion IPO- Reuters Demand is fierce, ya heard
Trump failing with investors in global poll - Bloomberg They recognize the clown
Goldman’s O’Neil: Investors should brave fears- Bloomberg Blue skies for 2 years, at least
World's top banks face capital surcharge hit: report- Reuters None of it matters, none of it
Madoff: What the clean-up costs- CNNMoney Janitorial services en masse
Facebook-Google rivalry intensifies with PR fiasco- AP Facebook shows its noobishness
The great government fire sale is on- AP Investors will reap the rewards

May 12, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Goldman to raise up to 5B yuan for China fund- Reuters Using other people's money too
Regulators to update Congress on financial revamp- AP None of it matters because it's fiction
Investment opportunities in overlooked sectors - CNBC Hot money chases hot money, SON
Takeda offers $12B for drugs firm Nycomed: sources- Reuters More more more is coming
Oil rebounds 1 percent on robust demand from Asia- Reuters Ridiculous reasons being given...
Gas prices cause spike in public transit use- CNNMoney The almighty dollar will rule them all
How the oil industry saves $4.4B a year on taxes- AP No one should be surprised by this
Pace of foreclosures slowed further in April- AP Drink the Kool-Aid because it's good
Deficits: Why spending cuts alone can't work- CNNMoney Stating the obvious is so easy

May 11, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Greece to conduct bold sell-offs in return for aid- Reuters Held hostage to pay for assistance
China eases trade rules, allows U.S. fund sales- Reuters The sleeping giant is playing nice
Oil trades near one week high - Bloomberg Wreckage ahead and fortunes lost
EU and IMF start key Athens visit as Greeks strike- Reuters Ceremonial dog and pony show
AT&T, T-Mobile to defend deal- AP I say let them merge and suffer
HSBC in $3.5 billion cost-cutting overhaul- Reuters Banks hold all the power
Euro weakens on Greek concerns - Bloomberg Just another blip in the road
Treasury: No fire sale of gold to delay debt ceiling- CNNMoney What gold? The illusion persists
Japan to oversee Tepco after nuclear crisis - Bloomberg Should've happened from the start

May 10, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Obama administration fights to save healthcare law- Reuters "Fights" is a laughable term
World stocks shrug off Greece woes to post gains- AP Because it's all noise in the scheme
Treasuries hold loss before debt auctions- Bloomberg Reversal of fortune is nearing
China urges U.S. to lift controls on hi-tech exports- AP China needs that gear
Tuesday's stocks to watch and analyst actions- Breakout These lists are useless, SON
Oil falls to near $101 ahead of US supply reports- AP Completely trader controlled...
Greece raises $2.3 billion in debt sale- AP Countries can always go into debt
Quake to spur biggest Japan home boom in 15 years- Bloomberg Blessings in disguise
China trade gap widens to $11.43 billion in April- CNNMoney The maw should gape wider soon

May 09, 2011 Headlines and commentary

US, China to talk trade, currency, human rights- AP None of which will come to much
Apple usurps Google as world's most valuable brand- Reuters Jobs is a visionary who saw the future
OECD indicator flags improved outlook in China, U.S.- Reuters Last week, US jobs growth was a phantom
Asia shares boosted by US jobs growth, Europe down- AP Last week, US jobs growth was a phantom
Japan expected to shut nuclear plant - Reuters No shit? Phobias upon phobias, SON
What really triggered oil's greatest rout- Reuters Selling would be the answer...
Euro steadies as Greek euro exit fears calm- AP The Euro can't be a long-term entity
U.S. to urge China to boost interest rates - Bloomberg Demonizing one nation is a tactic
Goldman sees commodity recovery as slump erases $99B- Bloomberg Golden is the vampire squid in life

May 06, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Businesses now hiring at fastest pace since 2006- AP The trend should continue for 2 years
Is new Warner Music buyer a sucker or savant?- AP I'd say they're a bunch of suckers
Berkshire Hathaway's 1Q profit down 58 percent- AP The old man is losing his shit
Fannie Mae seeks $8.5 billion more in federal aid- AP Black hole of money sucking
Consumers borrowed more on credit cards in March- AP Banks are loosening credit, son
Florida bank fails; 40 shuttered in 2011- AP My target is ~150 by EOY
AP IMPACT: CEO pay exceeds pre-recession level- AP Money's rolling in again, so why not
Gas price to drop as oil joins commodities plunge- AP Commodities are taking a breather
Silver Loses Its Luster- CNBC Speculators getting squashed

World markets fall on faltering US jobs market- AP No, the recovery's just underway
Oil sinks below $96 ahead of US jobs report- AP Trend followers destroyed
AIG posts 1Q loss on bailout payback, Japan quake- AP AIG will benefit in the coming years
Kraft Foods 1Q income down on acquisition costs- AP Short term bumps in the road, son
Visa posts 24 pct jump in 2Q profit, tops views- AP Scalping every transaction by Visa
Religious groups question Goldman on pay- AP Tigers can question anything
GM Cruzes to first-quarter profit of $3.2B- AP Beautiful money maker, son
Commodities fall puts financial markets on edge- AP Bubble might be bursting ;)
Does sell-off in commodities mean tougher times ahead?- CNBC No, exactly the opposite, mindbrain

May 05, 2011 Headlines and commentary

U.S. economy dogs stocks as euro rallies- AP I'm waiting for the dollar reversal
Qaddafi’s forces bombard rebel cities- Bloomberg Long protracted rebellion in progress
World food prices near-record on inflation: UN - Bloomberg Commodity prices ramping up
Late Easter boosts retailer April sales- Reuters Spending should continue to sky
GM's Q1 profit to more than double- Reuters The cars are actually selling?
Biden, Congressional group begin budget talks- AP What's Biden doing there?
Oil hovers above $109 on U.S. economy concerns- AP Traders are fully in control
ING reports rise in Q1 earnings, will repay state- AP Revenue reaped from the rabble
Portugal says 78 billion euros sufficient, flags recession- Reuters Throw enough money at the problem

May 04, 2011 Headlines and commentary

China 2011 growth seen solid, inflation to quicken: poll- Reuters Inflation's coming like a tidal wave
Climate activists target states with lawsuits- AP Nonsensical actions only benefit lawyers
Applied Materials to buy Varian for $5 Billion- NYTimes Nice, $2 billion over current valuation
Federal agents widen Chipotle immigration probe- Reuters Stock's near all time highs, son
House leaders seek political points in Yucca fight- AP Shell game at the House
Portugal raises $1.67B as it awaits bailout cash- AP Public capital rinses everything
Crude oil halts two-day decline before jobs data- Bloomberg Crude should be crushed, seriously
Silver slumps on higher margins; Gold drops - Bloomberg Traders pushing shit up
Google's South Korean offices raided over data collection- NYTimes Maintain the sovereign, son

May 03, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Ahead of the Bell: Factory Orders- AP Factory orders are probably UP
Sony says 25 million more accounts hacked- AP Sony fessing up a week later
Post-9/11 changes to industries outlive bin Laden- AP Be the change that furthers the world
Chrysler turns first profit since bankruptcy- AP Two more years of profits ahead
Stocks end lower despite bin Laden death, earnings- AP Sell in May and go away? Think so.
Weak dollar gives US factories strong lift in '11- AP Japanese yen is ramping higher
Honda to cut production of new Civic, other models- AP Can't be helped given supply chains
Buffett, Welch: Bin Laden death won't end terror- AP Of course not because it's a phantom

May 02, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Osama bin Laden killed in U.S. operation - Bloomberg Really? The charade never stops
Crude oil falls most in two weeks - Bloomberg Traders must be getting bored
Joy erupts on U.S. streets with killing of bin Laden- Reuters Laughable. That is all.
Top EU official rules out Greek debt restructuring- AP Destroy it with fire from the sky
Monday’s stocks to watch and analyst actions- Breakout Eh Eh Eh. Don't watch these ;)
Community Health raises all-cash offer for Tenet- AP Must be a competing faction
Investors ignore risks in pursuit of growth in China- NYTimes Don't worry and be happy
Buffett has more to learn from past on Wall Street- NYTimes The old man is resilient
Teva buying Cephalon for $6.8 billion- AP Acquisitions galore this year

April 29, 2011 Headlines and commentary

World stocks cautious on slowing US growth- AP There ain't no double-dip
First offshore yuan IPO gets cool reception in HK- AP Chinois love to gamble however
Samsung 1Q profit falls 30 percent on chips, TVs- AP They'll be aight
Oil near $112 amid slowing US economic growth- AP Trader's delight in pushing it
Microsoft 3Q growth overshadowed by tablet threat- AP Tablet's aren't replacing desktops
Somewhat sheepishly, Exxon makes $11 billion- AP Reaping the riches from traders
Chrysler to repay $7.5B of its government bailout- AP By way of lower-cost money
Stocks rise despite weaker GDP report- AP Old Turkey: It's a bull market
More people applied for unemployment benefits- AP Filing for extensions and such

April 28, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Bernanke: Inflation rising, unemployment high, but no policy shifts- Y! Unemployment shall ebb
Stock index futures signal gains; GDP data eyed- Reuters Hey, it's a bull market
Procter & Gamble lowers top end of forecast- Reuters Advertise more, old man
Insurer Aetna's 1Q profit rises 4 percent- AP The populace makes it possible
Exelon to buy Constellation in $7.9B deal- AP Saw it coming, SON
Crude oil retreats from 31-month high- Bloomberg $150 in the gunsights
Debt ceiling FAQs: What you need to know- CNNMoney Ignore it, it's just noise
BOJ believes Japan in recession- Reuters If so, it'll be a short one

April 27, 2011 Headlines and commentary

AP Source: Chrysler nearing deal to refinance aid- AP Good on them to kick the crutch
BP profit falls after selling fields to pay for spill- Bloomberg I'd still buy BP because it's eternal
Gold steady near record as investors watch Fed- Bloomberg Gold is just a trading vehicle
Stock futures signal slightly firmer open- Reuters Bulls can do whatever they want
J&J to buy Synthes for $21.6 billion- Reuters More mergers on the way
Credit Suisse reports 45 percent drop in Q1 profit- AP They'll be reaping again soon
Sony Playstation suffers massive data breach- Reuters Entire network's being rebuilt
Nokia to cut 4,000 jobs worldwide- AP Attrition successful
YouTube said to plan movie rentals from Sony, Universal- Bloomberg Netflix selling off yesterday

April 26, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Coca-Cola profit falls slightly short- Reuters Stop drinking that swill, son
Tuesday's stocks to watch and analyst actions- Breakout More like stocks not to watch
Stock futures rise amid bellwether earnings- Reuters Corporations are raking it in
Silver slide ripples out, Fed in focus- Reuters One day, the speculators will be busted
State pension crisis balloons- CNNMoney Thanks for the mismanagement
Ford earns $2.6b in 1Q on new products, sales- AP Who said no one was buying cars?
A great long-term investment? Buy the dollar: Belski- Breakout Not sure about long term but sure
3M raises 2011 forecast after 1Q profit jumps- AP The hits keep coming
Sony shows tablets to compete with Apple offerings- AP Sony's got to re-invigorate itself

April 25, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Crude oil climbs as Middle East violence escalates- Bloomberg Traders got that $150 in their gunsights
Ahead of the Bell: Spotlight on Netflix 1Q results- AP Netflix was Blockbuster's conquerer
Silver surges to all-time high - Bloomberg Speculation is running rampant, SON
Stocks to watch, trading ideas and research calls- Breakout Useless information for the rabble to sup
Stock picks for an economic slowdown- Breakout Why, when the economic is ramping up?
China to punish Baidu for illegal music search service- Reuters Stock should drop but it won't
The lawyer behind the $10B haul for Madoff victims- AP Just clawing back what victims were owed
Some signs of life in housing, credit drought goes on- Reuters The thaw is coming soon
Nintendo to launch Wii replacement in 2012- CNNMoney Microsoft and Sony should be working too

April 22, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Gulf anniversary renews debate on Arctic drilling- AP Tedium sets in with redundant questions
Obama pumps plan to develop renewable energy- AP Throwing money into a black hole, nice
Sony chairman credited with developing CDs dies- AP Farewell, music man
Got groceries? Wal-Mart testing home delivery- AP Anyone remember Webvan?
China moves to defuse Shanghai trucker protests- AP Crush it with boots and hammers
Aust. PM: Tsunami zone is scene of great sorrow- AP Tragedy of forced renewal is temporary?
Year after Greek debt rescue, markets unconvinced- AP Debt is the engine that powers the planet
GM likely to retake No. 1 sales spot from Toyota- AP GM should've died a long time ago
Toyota: Car production disrupted until Nov or Dec- AP Fukushim's echoes linger long

April 21, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Report: Transocean contributed to Gulf disaster- AP BP's neck just got relief from the boot
Pfizer says patient died in oral RA drug study- AP Market cap dent incoming
Activists abandon oil rig after drilling protest- AP Failsauce, SON
Japan plans disaster budget, building 100K homes- AP Construction boom on the way
Samsung files lawsuits against Apple- AP Follow the leader
Amazon failure takes down sites across Internet- AP Redundancy is a myth
Toyota: Car production disrupted until Nov or Dec- AP Completely expected after the disruption
Obama's deficit plans run into economic reality- AP Punks and sycophants
Apple slammed over iPhone, iPad location tracking- AP Secrecy for tracking customers

April 20, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Greece facing electricity strikes over austerity- AP Electricity should be the most of their worries ;)
AES buying DPL for $3.5 billion- AP More mergers and acquisitions on the way, SON
4 small-cap stocks made for this economy- TheStreet I'd rather buy big caps that are on the way
United Tech's 1Q profit up on stronger markets- AP The profits are going to grow for 2 years
Oil rises above $109 on signs of strong US demand- AP Traders are going to sky it to $150 at least
Obama takes tax plan to Facebook billionaires- Reuters Obama's run like a little boy by the elites
Spot gold breaches $1,500, silver at 31-year high- Reuters Shit's the trend so everyone pile on board
Apple to ship new iPhone in September- Reuters iPhone preaches to the idol worshippers
Should the U.S. adopt an alternative minimum tax for companies? Nope, stay status quo, jackass

April 19, 2011 Headlines and commentary

BP chairman: deep-sea drilling must go on- AP It'll continue to go on
Economists like neither debt reduction plan- CNNMoney Economists aren't much to go by
Gold near $1,500 an ounce, silver slips in London- Bloomberg Gold is headed for a cyclical tumble
PG&E turns over documents in San Bruno probe- AP Slap on the wrist is the conclusion
Goldman results to hinge on trading performance- Reuters Trading's their forte so $$$$$
Oil falls near $106 as S&P cuts U.S. debt outlook- AP Goldman got out at the right time?
Lawsuit questioning Taco Bell's beef is dropped- AP Guess the meat was "beefy" enough
Asia voices confidence in U.S. debt- Reuters Especially when they're holding a ton
Robots find high radiation as Tokyo Electric lays out plan- Bberg Wasteland for the next few centuries

April 18, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Poll: US economy improving despite global events- AP At least 2 more years of expansion
Drugmaker Eli Lilly's 1Q profit falls 15 percent- AP Severance pay is a biotch and a half
Community Health makes all-cash bid for Tenet- AP Tenet Healthcare buncha bustas
Halliburton 1Q profit up on North America demand- AP They'd have to be retarded not to make $$$
TD Ameritrade 2Q profit up nearly 6 percent- AP Dime-store traders are coming back
Stocks poised to open lower amid global concerns- AP Chuffin' Hell and Mind the Bollocks
Greek default fears weighing on stocks- AP The constant contagions are comedy
Gas in 6 states, nation's capital tops $4 a gallon- AP Guess the $5 price level is in the cards
Ahead of the Bell: Builder sentiment- AP Builder sentiment is in the doldrums. Next.

April 17, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Super rich see federal taxes drop dramatically- AP When are the revolts from the rabble?
IMF pledges new efforts against economic threats- AP IMF is the problem, not the cure. Irony.
Gas at $4 in nation's capital, 5 states; NY next- AP It's been $4 in NY, dumbass

April 16, 2011 Headlines and commentary

6 banks shuttered; makes 34 closed in '11- AP Big banks will get bigger and infallible
Manufacturing, inflation news sends stocks higher- AP To the moon, Alicia Silverstone
Honda adds 2 weeks to factory slowdowns- AP Fukushima haunts Japan and N.A.
BofA finds it hard to shake off mortgage troubles- AP Can't hide an elephant with a fig leaf
Consumers feel the pinch of pricier gas and food- AP Food's cheap, it's gas that's dear
IRS paid $513M in undeserved homebuyer tax credits- AP Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Bratz lawsuit takes toll on Mattel profit- AP Got rid of a competitor though ;)
Charles Schwab 1Q profit climbs on better economy- AP Investors are flocking back to the base
China trims holdings of US securities in February- AP They'll buy 'em back like an addict

April 15, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Manufacturing, inflation news sends stocks higher- AP Stocks are going to continue higher, SON
Obama: Raise debt ceiling or risk global recession- AP Idiot doesn't know what the fuck he's squawking
How to forecast a stock-market top- MarketWatch You wouldn't know how to spot it, patzer
Silver: The smart money gets bearish- Breakout Time to head for the hills with tails betwixt legs
E-books continue to destroy actual books- The Daily Ticker Save the trees and save the environment, yo
Galleon Chief put millions into fund of ex-employee- NYTimes Homey knew the end was nigh
IG: IRS pays $513M in shady homebuyer tax credits- AP Out of taxpayers' pockets
Is it 1937... again?- Barrons.com Nope but keep grasping at straws
Gas spike feeds inflation pain- CNNMoney Gasoline will be dead once traders are kicked

April 13, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Oil hovers above $106 as traders mull crude demand- AP Trader's push it however they want
Free ride to higher bank earnings could be ending- AP Rapin' the public won't be ending
Spending cuts not expected to dent $1.5T deficit- AP You thought of that all by yourself?
iPads take a place next to crayons in kindergarten- AP Kids don't really need an iPad, SON
Cisco plans to shut its Flip camcorder business- AP Can't blame Chambers for trying
5 NJ schools get grants from $100M Facebook gift- AP Wealth of nations into Facebook
February trade deficit narrows to $45.8 billion- AP This number is meaningless
Farmers, airlines exempt from derivatives rules- AP How does a trader become a farmer ;)
Nokia launches new Symbian smartphones- AP Challengers to the iPhone throne

April 11, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Libyan rebels reject African cease-fire proposal- AP Push it as far as you can, bro
Oil falls, stocks reverse to losses- AP A yawner today on the real
Employment picture sends Fed mixed messages- Bloomberg Recovery's on the way, yo
Drivers start to cut back on gas as prices rise- AP Oil's going to $150/bbl
Donald Trump now the no. 2 Republican candidate for president Cry for America
Why people cheat on their taxes- CNBC Enlighten us, old genius
Wal-Mart hammers price theme to woo back shoppers- AP Just gotta keep the revenue up
Budget: Cuts for 2011 still unknown- CNNMoney Another conundrum for the dumbs
Gas price spike hasn't hurt stocks - Breakout Gas can't derail the bull market

Oil falls on speculation of Libya cease-fire- Bloomberg Should've never ramped but it did
Japan rattled by aftershock 1 month after tsunami- AP Mother Nature should lay off now...
Treasuries fall before inflation reports, Gross sells- Bloomberg Grosssss
Stocks weighed down by oil price fears- AP Not weighed down at all >.>
Currency forecasters see dollar weakness - Bloomberg Dollar's a buy; ignition point already hit
Budget fix: Voters are ready. Is Washington?- CNNMoney When, where, and how are the questions
UK banks told to boost capital, shield taxpayers- Reuters Laxity should return soon enough
NYSE rejects Nasdaq, IntercontinentalExchange bid- AP Conditional tenders usually fail
High hopes for first-quarter earnings reports- AP Corporations are hugely profitable, SON

April 09, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Boeing 737s around the world face new scrutiny- AP Bolts be splitting and shit?
Banks in Ill., Nev. fail; makes 28 closed in 2011- AP Should reach about 100 by year's end
Government lets Google buy travel software company- AP Why wouldn't they? Just another tentacle
NYSE gets a facelift, its future unknown- AP NYSE's building can be a catering hall
Stocks waver as government shutdown looms- AP Shut if down already, do everyone a favor
Johnson & Johnson settles bribery case with feds- AP Caught in the cookie jar, ya heard meh
Sales of wholesale goods slip in February- AP The sky's falling! Everyone run for the hills
SEC weighs new rules for private companies' stock- AP Facebook and Twitter should go public already
US corn reserves expected to fall to 15-year low- AP False information, methinks

April 08, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Oil above $111 as attacks damage Libyan oil fields- AP Not much needed to push it up
Australia rejects Singapore's stock exchange bid- AP Xenophobia is so 1800s
IRS: 12 most common tax scams- CNNMoney It's about that time for scams
Q2: Where investors are putting their money- CNBC Stocks because the rocket ride is soon
AP source: Google, gov't near deal on travel buy- AP The octopus is growing new arms
Markets relieved new Japan quake has small impact- AP My prayers have been answered
Obama, Congress struggle to break budget impasse- Reuters Idiocy and corruption = sorrow
BlackBerry confusion surrounds looming shutdown- CNNMoney Yawner and a replay of past events
HTC first quarter profit triples on Android popularity- Reuters Sprint is going to benefit from HTC

April 07, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Cisco CEO warns tough decisions ahead- Reuters Cisco's going to just fine
Oil tops $110 after Japan suffers another blow- CNNMoney Headed to $150, no doubt
Consumers borrowed more in February to buy cars- AP Gotta drive to work, ya heard
Markets down after new Japan quake- Reuters But they recovered from the lows
Health care’s turn? Why fund manager Estes likes J&J- Breakout Why is he talking his book? Dumbass
Boyd: Fed's Lacker right about "too big to fail"- The Daily Ticker Nope, watch what they do, not say
Wisconsin high court challenger declares victory- Reuters Yawn, yaw
U.S. going same route as Greece, Portugal: Economist- CNBC No, no it's not
Big banks have a powerful new opponent- NYTimes Gigglesnorts

April 06, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Why you can't get a mortgage- CNNMoney Banks are risk averse? Is that why?
Wall Street set for higher open on recovery hopes- Reuters Recovery's been happening, dumbass.
Oil hovers above $108 amid mixed US supply report- AP Oil's headed to $150. Trend is friend.
Tepco stops leak from reactor at nuclear station - Bloomberg Damage is already done
Dish Network wins Blockbuster bankruptcy auction- Reuters Good assets if utilized properly
Twitter disables new version of website- Reuters Reminds me of the Digg debacle
Treasury yield jumps to 4-week high - Bloomberg Rates are rising soon SON
Retail economists expect slow start to spring- AP Spring..... is usually slow, smartass
Verizon customers exposed in massive U.S. data breach- Reuters Happens to the best of them, can't hate

April 05, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Fed members raise specter of higher interest rates- AP Can't stay low forever, chumps
Diamond stacks up with $1.5B deal to buy Pringles- AP Pringles has that pop, ya heard meh
Judge overturns $625.5M patent suit against Apple- AP That was the right thing to do, SON
Obama presses Congress to avoid shutdown- AP Shut 'em down, please
Icahn, Dish, debtholders vie for Blockbuster- AP Those assets do have value
Service sector expanded in March at slower pace- AP Blip on the road of prosperity
Oil slides as China raises interest rates- AP Wasn't the reason but whatever....
Poll reveals baby boomers' retirement fears- AP Yep, retirements are inadequate
What higher volatility means for your portfolio- CNBC Nothing. Buy and hold on this run.

Stock index futures fall; techs in spotlight- Reuters Nothing movies in a straight line, SON
Goldman bets on emerging Asia credit beating U.S.- Bloomberg I predict another Asian contagion
Nasdaq OMX to rebalance Nasdaq-100 Index- AP Buy the stocks being added to the N-100
Tanker due to load Libyan rebel oil- AP "Rebel Oil" sounds like a movie title
Oil drops first day in four on signs demand ease - Bloomberg Nah, it's entirely controlled by traders
QE2? More like QE 1.5. Fed’s balance shrinks even as it expands-Y! Nice, I love a paradox in the morning
Japan dumps toxic water, seeks Russian processing ship- Bberg Irradiated tuna is naturally spicy
Obama, top lawmakers to discuss funding dispute- AP Disputes are just bargaining chips
Boehner tells Republicans to gird for shutdown- Reuters That's one way to get rid of government

April 04, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Oil tops $108, stocks hit resistance- Reuters Oil's going back up to $150. Bank on it.
AP source: Couric leaving news anchor post- AP Good riddance?
Next problem for oil: Nigerian elections- WSJ Nope, the problem is greedy traders.
Banks, credit-card issuers warn of email breach- AP Buncha bustas can't keep their shit together
Market breakdown: Is the party over?- Breakout Not yet. Now, go sit down and suck your thumb
McDonald's wants to fill 50K jobs on hiring day- AP Have you had a Big Mac today?
Market lessons from the first round of easy money- CNBC First of all, the money wasn't that easy... >.>
Skepticism greets AT&T theory- WSJ Ho hum. Such genius from the WSJ.
Don't let insider trading scare you: Tamny - The Daily Ticker Embrace insider trading then...

April 02, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Administration approves bailout pay packages- AP One hand washes the other, always
Unemployment fell to 2-year low after hiring surge- AP The boom is in the horizon, wait for it
Auto sales up with economy, but buyers downsize- AP Gas guzzlers are out, SON
Ford CEO Alan Mulally gets $26.5M pay package- AP Can't hate, congratulate
Stocks rise after unemployment dips to 2-year low- AP The doldrums are in the rearview mirror
Google founder hopes to prove he's ready to be CEO- AP Probably doesn't have managerial chops
Nasdaq, ICE make $11.3B bid for NYSE Euronext- AP Nasdaq is the next to be acquired
Manufacturing growth slows slightly in March- AP The pause before the meteoric moonshot

April 01, 2011 Headlines and commentary

World stocks higher as oil jumps, jobs report eyed- AP Oil trades along the line of least resistance
Oil above $107 as Gadhafi pushes back Libya rebels- AP Stop giving fake reasons, joker
Dividends come roaring back in 2011- AP That's because corporations are flush with cash
China manufacturing picks up pace in March- AP The boom will endure for a few years, SON
Eurozone joblessness below 10 pct despite headwind- AP Can't be in the doldrums forever
United, Continental cutting capacity to Japan- AP No one's going...
Delphi buys back ownership stakes from GM and US- AP Guess they're flush too
Factory orders dip 0.1 percent in February- AP Bump in the road to prosperity, SON
Did Buffett blow it? Sokol story doesn't add up- Breakout Yeah, the old man is losing it

March 31, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Stocks Pause for Breath as Payrolls Loom- AP Pauses tends to refresh
Fewer people sought unemployment aid last week- AP Can't be unemployed forever...
Portugal deficit rises, worsening debt woes- AP Deficit was known beforehand by Portugal
Irish prepare to learn full cost of banking crisis- AP Bunch of wastrels whittling away wealth
Microsoft throws weight behind EU's Google probe- AP Gotta get your cuts in on the enemy
Stocks to watch: Berkshire- TheStreet Berkshire isn't a trading stock, idiot
Today's trading headlines, ideas, tweets- Breakout Traders usually lose, eventually
Oil near $105 as Gadhafi takes back Libya oil port- AP Rebels got run ragged, ya heard

March 30, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Ohio House to vote on collective bargaining limits- AP It's going to be a one-sided outcome
House Republicans seek IRS probe of AARP- AP Someone didn't pay a bribe on time
Forgotten wireless company to make out big- TheStreet Vodaphone is hardly forgotten, dumbass
Microsoft co-founder hits out at Gates- WSJ Aww, Paul Allen isn't rich enough? Savage.
Oil seesaws on rising inventories, Libya turmoil - Reuters It's a traders market so wise up already
Natural gas prices rise on Obama, colder weather- AP Um... Spring's just a couple of weeks away
Why a gov't shutdown could be different, this time- Breakout Nope, nothing changes in a wastrel org
Hoenig urges Fed to shrink holdings, raise rates- Reuters Hoenig needs to don a Chicken Little suit
What will $1.50 get you at Starbucks? Plenty, says CEO- Daily Ticker It'll get you a little cookie and a smile

Stock futures signal higher open- Reuters Last week's shenanigans was stop-clearing
DuPont extends Danisco offer after low acceptance- Reuters Like a carrot before the old nag
Portugal's borrowing rates hit new highs- AP When default's almost assured, of course
Qantas to curb flights, cut jobs to offset fuel- Reuters Oil barons got the world by the sack
Oil slides on signs U.S. supply rising- Bloomberg Hm, this was known years ago
US judge halts anti-union bargaining law- AP Guess he wasn't paid off yet
G20 meet to highlight China's world finance role- AP Money masters meeting to machinate
FDA chemist, son charged with insider trading- AP Corrupt and greedy, what a combination
Irish stress tests may leave gov't in control of banks- Bloomberg Iceland and Ireland, two sides of the coin

March 29, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Inflation worries push consumer confidence lower- AP I call bullshit and I'm not wrong
Home prices falling in most major US cities- AP As they should be for the next 3-5 years
Toys R Us will pay $1.3M penalty to FTC- AP Piddling amount passed onto consumers
Toyota restricts orders to preserve parts supply- AP Fukushima is such a troublesome brat
Oil prices rise despite consumer worries- AP Oil's not trading on fundamentals, idiot
GE to buy most of Converteam in $3.2B deal- AP A few years ago, GE was on the brink, SON
FDIC proposes exemption for mortgage securities- AP The shell game continues onwards
Nokia sues Apple again over patents- AP If you can't beat 'em, sue 'em
BATS submits plans to list new company stocks- AP NYSE and Nasdaq on the defense

Auditor: Financial overhaul law cost $1B per year- AP Wastrels wouldn't have it any other way
Stock futures flat ahead of data, earnings- Reuters Thin trade is no indication of anything
U.S. drops to 3rd in clean-energy investment: Pew- Reuters Biggest oil companies in the world here
Macke on oil, gold and the S&P 500: "Trade the now"- Breakout Trade the trend, friend
Oil down to near $103 on Libyan hopes, US economy- AP Oil's a buncha bustaz, son
IRS increases audits of millionaires- CNNMoney Talking point, nothing more
10 things to know before the opening bell- Business Insider 10 things that are useless
Cost shift seen in raising Medicare age to 67- AP Wouldn't matter, shit is bankrupt
China bank regulator warns of property bubble risks- Reuters Bubble won't pop yet, give it time though

March 28, 2011 Headlines and commentary

As Japan shutdowns drag on, auto crisis worsens- AP Auto crisis is just a temporary blip
Wiretaps captivate NY insider trading trial- AP The game is rigged against the public
Housing market: 13% of all U.S. homes are vacant- CNNMoney Should be 18% when the abyss is hit
Medicare rise could mean no Social Security COLA- AP Attribute it to the wastrels wasting
Portuguese politicians still back debt cutting- AP Debt cutting is temporary, SON
Who are the tax cheaters? Single, young men- CNNMoney More like big ass corporations
Oil slides below $115 as Libyan rebels make gains- Reuters Oil is blood money, SON
Radiation in Japan seawater, soil may be spreading- AP It'll diffuse in water but soil's gone

March 25, 2011 Headlines and commentary

General Motors to restart shut pickup plant in La.- AP GM should be put down like a dog.
Kodak patent complaint against Apple, RIM revived- AP Kodak is another old dog
US experiencing uneven job growth across states- AP You mean job growth isn't uniform?!?
Oil hits highest levels since recession- AP Something wrong with this world...
Stocks rise on Oracle earnings, higher GDP- AP They'll keep on rising too
For real estate, a giant spring clearance sale- AP Yep, sales for the next 3 years too
Economy faces challenges after strong growth in Q4- AP Nope, this statement makes zero sense

March 24, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Oil slides back, below $105 per barrel- AP Oil's a rigged game but wilder
Stocks rise after earnings continue to impress- AP Corporations are flush, SON
Goldman Chief gets starring role at Galleon trial- NYTimes The Evil Empire is everywhere
Support dips for California governor's budget plan- Reuters Surprising, it's not
Toyota tells U.S. plants 'prepare to shut down'- CNNMoney Time for a relapse
Buffett: Euro's collapse is not unthinkable- CNBC Should've never happened
Portugal crisis hijacks European summit- Reuters The crisis will be managed as usual
U.S. investors place record bet on Japanese funds- NYTimes Lots of reconstruction on the horizon
Don’t think bulls or bears — in a fast market, invest like a wolf- BO Stupid, meet Stupider

March 23, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Stock futures mixed as Japanese costs increase- AP Stocks should be rising, not falling
Health care's hidden costs: $363 billion- CNNMoney So much waste incurred by wastrels
State unemployment benefits in the crosshairs- CNNMoney Wealth transfer has to continue however
10 things to know before the opening bell- Business Insider The worst information, ever
Sprint cries foul over rivals' mega-merger- Reuters Shut up and run your business, SON
Oil near $105 as traders eye MidEast upheaval- AP Traders jump the gun all the time, stupid
Portugal government may collapse before EU summit- Reuters Just what the world needs, more instability
New homes are becoming a bad deal in weak markets- AP Such wisdom, will you be my wealth manager?

March 22, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Markets edge lower, but VIX also drops- Reuters Vix drops in bull markets
Apple's iPad 2 heads abroad after U.S. sellouts- Reuters iPad 2 be rolling like a juggernaut
Fed's Fisher: U.S. debt situation at tipping point- Reuters These words, they are like laughter
Leonard Green firm considering offer for BJ's- AP I like BJs
Adjustable-rate mortgages make a comeback- CNNMoney Risk capital for the taking, SON
Fed says 2010 payment to government sets record- AP Uncle Sam's raking it in, I guess
Delta cuts global flying plans again this year- AP Less traffic means less flights
Anatomy of a trade: Toyota- Jon Najarian Not much anatomy, SON
Shilling: Stocks aren't safe- Tech Ticker Shilling isn't worth a shilling :)

March 21, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Tiffany cuts 1Q outlook on Japan store closings- AP Kinda hard to buy crystal right now...
AT&T talks of spectrum shortage, yet it has plenty- AP Corporate doublespeak is old school
Deals help push the Dow back above 12,000- AP No, the bull market is intact and rarin'
General Motors lays off workers at NY plant- AP The entire GM octopus should be killed
Oil rises on concerns about Libya and supplies- AP The stupidity never ceases to amaze me
Europe agrees on financing for future bailout fund- AP Those funds will be needed in about 8 years
United, Continental raise many US fares by $10- AP Reaping the harvest 24/7 ya heard meh
Citi resumes dividend, will do reverse stock split- AP Citi is a POS that's backed by Uncle Sam
Home sales fell 9.6 pct. in February- AP .... shocking news, no one expected it!

Oil rises as Western powers strike Libya- Reuters Traders be jumping in and out, SON
Stocks jump on dealmaking, easing Japan worries- AP T buys T-Mobile for $39 billion
Jim Rogers: Close the Federal Reserve- Breakout Jim Rogers, an ineffectual old man
Portugal gov't nears collapse amid debt crisis- AP Bad news is really good news, right?
Treasury: Will begin selling mortgage securities- AP Just passing the buck as always
A disaster spares the heart of Sony- NYTimes Corporate spirit lives on and endures
Crises in Japan ripple across global economy- NYTimes Rebuilding and business will go on
Anadarko, KNOC sign $1.55 billion Eagle Ford deal- Reuters Linkages are tantamount in business
Don't worry about rising oil prices: Altucher - Tech Ticker Altucher is a clown, always has been

March 18, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Oil surges as UN approves Libya no-fly zone- Bloomberg Traders moving the market at will
Workers prepare to connect power to stricken plant- Bloomberg Salvation in the form of juice
Qaddafi troops near Benghazi may face air attack- Bloomberg Aggression makes me uncomfortable
FDIC sues 3 former top executives of failed WaMu- AP Sue all the big banks too to be equitable
Russia to spend $700 bln on new weapons- AP Mankind will never evolve
How to play a volatile market- CNBC You don't "play it" stupid, you just buy
10 things to know before the opening bell- Business Insider Useless information regurgitated ad infinitum
The 5 dumbest things on Wall Street- TheStreet There was a lot more than 5, SON

March 17, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Oil prices top $101 per barrel again- AP Oil is a bunch of bustas
Choppers douse crippled Japan reactor with water- AP They need to get the electricity running
Japan crisis: Hope, fear and nuclear uncertainty- Tech Ticker The world will go on afterwards, son
Airbus faces charges over 2009 Rio-Paris crash- AP Culpability is questionable
Yen hit a record: Why?- Daniel Gross, Y! Finance Speculators running wild
Double-digit rent rise ahead for housing - CNNMoney Highly doubtful when supply is high
Bahrain: Oil price flashpoint?- Minyanville Contango in my gunsights
New York Times to start charging for website- AP They'll lose readership
Tragedy highlights challenges of economic forecasting- Minyanville Dumb article

March 16, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Rebuilding northeast Japan to take years, billions- AP It'll be a 5-10 year effort once underway
Gov't panel issues mixed final verdict on bailouts- AP Move on instead of dwelling on the past
Oil rises above $98 amid Bahrain, Libya clashes- AP Oil should be at $50, SON
10 things to know before the opening bell- Business Insider This is worthless information
ATM fees heading higher- WSJ Banks be reapin' as much as they can
Japan nuclear reactor cores may be damaged- Bloomberg This is assured at this point
Foreign bankers flee Tokyo as crisis deepens- Reuters Bankers are a scourge on this Earth
How can retail sales rise while credit card balances decline?- Y! Fin Cash? Payoffs on time? Use your brain.

March 15, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Stocks plunge as Japan nuclear crisis worsens- AP Market's already recovering
Japan boosts holdings of US debt in January- AP Should probably reverse henceforth
EU to apply stress tests on its nuclear plants- AP Shutting down the old ones be better
Newspaper ads sag to a 25-year low in 2010- AP Print is dead and done, son
Japan races to contain nuclear threat after quake- AP Radioactive clouds be skying soon
Judge OKs Borders extension request- AP Uh, print is dead and done, son
IEA says Libyan oil exports halted- AP Means balderdash for the global market
Northrop Grumman plans shipbuilding unit spin-off- AP Time to sell

Wall St slides for 2nd day on Japan fears- Reuters Scaredy cats running for shelter
Armageddon entrepreneurs: Who's profiting from fear?- CNBC Short term profits but long term disaster
What Buffett really thinks of derivatives- NYTimes The old man loves his billions, son
Greenspan: Regulation slowing growth- Zachary Roth, Y! News Greenspan's right but he's not actionable
Jury hears wiretaps of ex-Goldman director- Reuters Spilling the beans from the vampire boardroom
Geithner seeks quick foreclosure pact with banks- Reuters Banks will dictate the terms, son
Hedge funds had bets against Japan- WSJ Hedge funds have bets against everyone
Oil prices tumble to lowest level in weeks- AP Oil's a losing bet, like gold
More than money, Japan needs supplies- Tech Ticker Stating the obvious ain't a skill

March 14, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

S&P futures fall; Japan disaster monitored- Reuters Futures aren't as bad as expected
Berkshire Hathaway to buy Lubrizol for $9B in cash- AP True wealth lies in productive engines
Apple sold close to 1M iPad 2s in weekend: Analysts- Reuters The lemmings have been trained well
Hacker group releases BofA correspondence- Reuters None of it will mean anything
Nikkei loses more than 6% after quake- CNNMoney I'd start buying on Thursday of this week
BOJ eases policy to shore up confidence- Reuters Confidence is fleeting in the face of nuclear
2nd explosion at stricken Japan nuclear plant- AP Unfortunate situation with the reactors
Users complain iPhone clock bungles time change- AP Apple should've fixed this a while ago
Dish Network and Lin Media agree, restore channels- AP Ya'll muthatruckers are a trip

March 09, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

Oil near $105 amid mixed US demand, Libyan crisis- AP Oil will be wrestled back to the old highs
Libya official flies to Egypt with Gadhafi message- AP Spreading the discord is policy, SON
Jury to hear gripping opening of Rajaratnam trial- Reuters That shit ain't gripping, it's boring
Stocks to watch- TheStreet Get your Fool's Gold right here
Soros says U.S. spending cuts to brake economy- Reuters No. Just no. Sit down, old man.
Futures slip as oil fluctuates- AP Futures batting back and forth ain't shit
10 things to know before the opening bell - Business Insider What everyone knows is worth nothing
Idaho passes Republican bill to curb union rights- Reuters Boo Bears are out in force ya heard meh?
$100 oil? Blame speculators and the bank lobby, advocate says- TT Of course, tell us something we don't know

March 08, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

2 years after market low, the little guy is back- AP Uhhhhh, no. Just, no. They missed it.
Rally turns 2: Will market lose steam?- CNBC Nope, at least another 2 years of gains
Identity theft tops list of consumer complaints- CNNMoney Stop crying QQ
Total CEO: Tapping strategic oil could drive up prices- CNNMoney Uh, no. Just no.
Pennsylvania budget calls for deep spending cuts- CNNMoney Just tax the cattle to death, SON
Consumers more upbeat, but is trouble ahead?- CNBC STFU already Chicken Little
Raj Rajaratnam trial starts as judge questions jury pool- AP Them jurors are dumb as fuck
Bank stocks push indexes higher; oil prices dip- AP Rally all the time, son
America for sale? It might be if WA doesn't solve deficit problem- TT Debt and deficit are growth drivers, SON

March 04, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

Oil prices hit highest level since Sept. 2008- AP Why? B/C traders control the market.
Libya rebels prep for attack; U.S. to aid civilians- Bloomberg The new way to overthrow empires
Stocks open flat after jobs report- AP Just a stop-crushing plunge
Wal-Mart hikes dividend 20.6 percent- Reuters You could live off of WMT's dividends
Banks face more loan write-downs- WSJ It's an ongoing multi-year process
Apple's Jobs wants iPhone for China Mobile- Reuters Of course he does
White House agrees to $6.5B more in budget cuts- AP Lop off another $100 billion in waste
Weber: Global imbalances to worsen- Reuters That's the way of the world, patzer
What the iPad 2 means for your wallet- WSJ For me, nothing. I use a calculator.

March 03, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

Oil falls to near $101 amid Libya mediation hopes- AP Jumpy ass traders live on volatility
PIMCO's Gross urges slow pace of deficit cuts- Reuters Gross is talking his book like a sap
House moves to repeal tax filing requirement- AP Oh, word?
Wisconsin lawmakers are talking compromise- Reuters Which they planned all along, amirite?
Rising gas prices force consumers to cut back- CNNMoney CNN has got some genius writers
Microsoft's Bing mobile site pulls in daily deals- AP Groupon's competitors are soon legion
Fed needs vigilance on inflation: officials- Reuters Inflation is on the way, nevertheless
Commentary: iPad 2 extends Apple's lead- Business Insider Jobs is still..... on the job
Eurozone at critical juncture in debt crisis- AP No, no they aren't. Bailouts for everyone.

February 28, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

Libya's eastern port Tobruk opens for oil exports- AP Commerce rolls onwards SON
Ventas buying Nationwide Health for $5.8 billion- AP Acquisitions aplenty in 2011
JPMorgan fund in talks to buy Twitter stake: report- Reuters Twitter will be supplanted soon
Stocks to watch- TheStreet Don't watch 'em, sell 'em
Oil above $98 as Libya's oil industry in chaos- AP Oil should be goin' down if not for this
Madoff to NY magazine: Government a Ponzi scheme- AP He, of all people, should know
Rich Americans flock to fast food- CNNMoney Haha, they ain't real rich then
Social mood turns negative: Markets will soon follow, Prechter - TT Prechter is a clown nonpareil

February 22, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

Home prices hit post-bust lows in most major cities- AP They'll continue sloping downwards
Qaddafi stays in Libya as violence mounts- Bloomberg He wants to be a martyr LOL
Investors eye exits after market highs- WSJ Mindless cattle always run for the exits
Apple falls on iPad launch delay speculation- Reuters Traders are a jumpy lot, aren't they?
For air passengers, future doesn’t look rosy- NYTimes Grin and bear it, playboys
US to investigate Toyota hybrid SUVs- AP General Motors needs a boost
Android, video games dominate mobile confab- Reuters Gaming
Oil prices surge to new highs -- when will they burn the economy? They're burning the economy now, ass
Wisconsin senate to meet without protesting Democrats- Reuters

February 21, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

Neither side budging in Wisconsin union fight- AP Buncha bustas and goons, ya heard meh?
Egypt freezes Mubarak's assets- AP Disburse it amongst the rabble, SON
Tickets, coupons among uses for tap-to-pay phones- AP Hey now, that's a good thing
Memories of 1995 haunt GOP as shutdown talk grows- AP Banana republic on display
Mexico state congress seeks ban of video game- AP Feh, yall mfers should fix yo shit instead
Gulf shares drop on Mideast unrest- AP Destabilize the entire region :))))
Iceland: New Icesave deal must go to public vote- AP Iceland buncha bustas
Nasdaq nears 10-year high; should you be nervous?- AP No, idiot. You should be BULLISH!
Obama: US needs better math, science education- AP Then why has the gubmint shat on kids?

February 18, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

Stocks on path for third straight week of gains- AP 2011 is the year of the stock market, SON
Intel chief to join White House council on jobs- AP Big business does control government
Ford plans to team with Sollers in Russia- AP Ford... psh, please
France: Global imbalances risk causing new crisis- AP They've been saying this since the 1800s
Campbell says sales, profit dip; cuts guidance- AP Yall ain't eatin' canned slop no mo?
China raises bank reserves to curb lending- AP China's got to get in with the wastrels
Republicans challenging unions in state capitols- AP Nonsense keeps the world running
China property prices rise in Jan despite curbs- AP Bubblicious, baby
Ivory Coast's Gbagbo seizes 4 international banks- AP Nationalize them and play with the big boys

February 16, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

Borders files for bankruptcy, to close stores- Reuters Dinosaurs can't revive themselves
From prison, Madoff says banks ‘had to know’- NYTimes Stop blaming the evil controllers
China's new role on the investing stage- MarketWatch China's the new progenitor of tech
Congress plays chicken on 1099 mandate repeal- CNNMoney Bunch of old men in charge of our lives
A rising tide for agricultural commodities- TheStreet Potash, potash, potash, babycakes
Banks go straight to public borrowers- WSJ Good, lend me some money for a mall
Obama's 6 Social Security principles- USNews Bad Obama, Good Obama
How the middle class became the underclass- CNNMoney It's all by design, noobtastic

February 15, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

Stocks trade lower after economic data- AP Shad Ap
Silver, gold prices break key resistance marks- TheStreet I still say precious metals are going down
Deutsche Boerse unveils NYSE mega-exchange deal- Reuters $10 billion deal, Nasdaq is next son
Left slams Obama over safety net- CNNMoney Left is the same as the Right, stupid
HTC unveils 5 smartphone models, tablet- Reuters I like HTC but Apple's the King
Obama urges tackling major debt problems- Reuters Shad Ap, Americans live on debt
Homebuilders have grim view of housing market- AP Yep, another 5 years of famine
How star investors bet last quarter- WSJ Past =/= Future performance
China's economic "hard landing" will cause a commodity crash - TT Haha. Tell me another one, patzer.

February 11, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

Trade deficit widens to $40.6 billion in December- AP Deficits are what fuel America, Noob
Stocks headed lower after Mubarak refuses to quit- AP Mubarak is the old man who wouldn't quit
Nokia, Microsoft in pact to rival Apple, Google- AP Titans be fightin' each other
GM, Chrysler salaried workers to get bonuses- AP Doling out bonuses a lil early
German banker meets Merkel amid ECB job rumors- AP Bankers same as shysters, son
Egyptian crisis leads to sampling for CNN- AP Them fools just need to rage and revolt
Total net profit slips in 4th quarter- AP Slap-happy, umad tho?
L'Oreal posts 25 percent rise in 2010 net profit- AP Ladies need makeup to look decent, truth
Michelin earnings rebound strongly in 2010- AP Whole world's on the rocket ride to the moon

February 09, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

US to release phase-out plan for Fannie, Freddie- CNNMoney They'll just build another POS
Apple begins production of new iPad: report- Reuters ... and sales of the current iPad plummet
Stocks to watch- TheStreet Don't watch these shits, sell-side fodder
SEC to wean markets off credit ratings- Reuters Good luck with that
10 things you need to know before the opening bell- B.Insider I know not to listen to idiots
Oil rises from eight day low- Bloomberg Oil's going down, down, down
Google manager complicates role in Egypt protests- AP Google should call in the troops
Bernanke to face sharp questions from Republicans- AP "Tough" questions, what a joke
Foreclosures ramp up; 30% of mortgages underwater- CNN Who cares, recovery's here

February 08, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

FDIC seeks delay in bonuses for top bank execs- AP Can't stop the money train
Oil driller Ensco to buy Pride for $7.31B- AP Smells like a bad move but whatever
Deal news, earnings push stocks higher- AP DOW 18,000 is in the cards on this run
Obama to CEOs: Ask what you can do for America- AP Stealing from America is what they'll do
Super Bowl sets record with 111M viewers in US- AP Yeah, with two shite teams too
More confident consumers break out credit cards- AP The spigot is opening up again
Danaher agrees to buy Beckman Coulter for $5.87B- AP Smart move, in my estimation
Hasbro 4Q earnings fall on soft US game demand- AP Yeah, Hasbro is such a great publisher
Layoffs become rarer even with unemployment high- AP Shaddap, the recovery is in progress

February 04, 2011 Headlines and commentary.

EU leaders wrangle over debt crisis measures- AP Debt is the new slavery
Aetna's 4Q profit jumps 30 percent- AP On the back of the insured
PulteGroup 4Q loss widens on hefty charges- AP Dead real estate market is dead
Tyson Foods reports jump in 1Q earnings- AP Chicken is a staple in America
Stocks up ahead of US jobs data, Egypt woes loom- AP Fuck Egypt
China property taxes a stab at dousing inflation- AP Inflation's coming like a hurricane
Report: Egypt protests cost $310M per day- AP Notional costs SON
Stock futures flat ahead of employment report- AP Goin' up so buy and hold, stupid
Report backs massive Canadian oil sands pipeline- AP Freaking insane

February 03, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Gunfire in Cairo as Mubarak allies battle protesters- Bloomberg Revolution
SEC hurt by disarray in its books- NYTimes Run like a chop shop SON
Obama to announce clean energy plan for buildings- Reuters Obama's a fun guy
S&P says no plans to cut US rating in medium term- Reuters Especially since expansion is here
Sony's profit falls 8.6% in third quarter- NYTimes Jailbreak
ECB to talk tough on inflation, hold rates for now- Reuters They'll do as they are told
Madoff trustee sues JPMorgan for $6.4 billion- NYTimes JPM won't pay a dime son
Turkish workers protest government bill- AP Scalliwags
Oil gains a 2nd day as Egypt unrest prompts supply concern- Bb Myths upon myths

February 01, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Rally hits new heights but Ritholtz sees correction coming- TT Ritholtz is a patzer. "Member that.
Hedge funds seek clarity on 'expert networks'- WSJ Exploitation is a harassing bitch
GM, Chrysler, Kia report big Jan. US sales gains- AP Guess the economic explosion in on
Google says exec missing in Egypt- Reuters Homie got smoked?
Egypt protests prompt new ratings review- AP Le sigh.
Pfizer to ax 1,100 R&D jobs in eastern Connecticut- AP Probably axing more later this year.
Citigroup takes over record label EMI- AP Bankers spinning tunes ya heard?
Google dials up voice service in Egypt- TheStreet Google hooking that shit up
Metals rise on brighter economic outlook- AP False prophets on the horizon

January 28, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Ford 2011 profit highest in a decade as sales rise- AP Ford riding the wave of prosperity
Taco Bell fights back on beef lawsuit with ad push- AP The "beef" looks like busted hash
Economy probably gained speed at year end- AP It's going to accelerate soon SON
Stocks to watch: Microsoft, Ford- TheStreet Microsoft is an annuity playboy
10 things to know before the opening bell- Business Insider What everyone knows is worthless
LinkedIn files for IPO of up to $175 million- Reuters Cashing out is an American tradition
The 5 dumbest things on Wall Street- TheStreet Lot more than five if you look harder
Bill Gross sees dangers in the debt-limit debate- AP Thanks Bill, you're stating the obvious
US and Japan warned by IMF and rating agencies on debt- Reuters Yawn. Indebtedness is the trend.

January 26, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Stocks up on Obama's promise to spur economy- AP Stocks going up anyway, dumbass
Fed likely to keep $600B bond-purchase plan intact- AP Why not, it's just paper
Toyota recalls 1.7 million vehicles for fuel leaks- AP What happened to their QC SON?
Watchdog says overhaul didn't end future bailouts- AP That's a genius talking
Stocks flat as earnings from blue chips disappoint- AP Focus on the negatives
Second wave of housing bust hammers more cities- AP Third wave will be a doozy
How presidential fortunes turn on economic twists- AP Punditry is a dead science
Merrill paying $10M to settle SEC fraud charges- AP They stole more than that son

January 25, 2011 Headlines and commentary

US airlines make money again by flying less- AP Everybody's makin' money again son
Intel OK's $10 billion more of stock buybacks- AP Words don't mean actions playboy
Resurgent GM nips at Toyota's heels in sales race- AP Government Motors propaganda machine
American Express 4th-qtr profit leaps 49 percent- AP Raking in the interest and late payments
Amgen 4Q profit rises, buys cancer drug maker- AP Drugs are the panacea of the masses
Dow average nears 12,000 as tech stocks climb- AP Headed to 18,000 by 2013 playboy
Bernanke bond plan faces more skeptics within Fed- AP Just play along and smile like you like it
McDonald's may raise prices as food costs rise- AP Gotta have them nuggets and shakes
J.C. Penney closing some stores; Ackman on board- AP Who still shops at JC Penny? Shit.

January 24, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Oil hovers above $89 a barrel in Asia- Reuters I'd peg March-April for the downfall
Sanofi-Aventis extends offer for Genzyme- AP Conglomerates get bigger in 2011
Ireland races to pass budget as coalition collapses- Bloomberg Dog and pony show
Morgan Stanley banker drawn into Galleon investigation: report A den of thieves is what bankers are
US now ripe for consumption tax: Kevin Hassett- Bloomberg Would never happens silly
Treasury's toxic asset funds gain 27 percent- Reuters Rising tide lifts crapola too
Hiring outlook at 12-year high: Survey- CNNMoney Outlook =/= reality son
Euro zone PMIs indicate rising inflation pressure- Reuters Like a wave, it's coming
Olbermann split came after years of tension- NYTimes Another loudmouthed patzer

January 21, 2011 Headlines and commentary

GE profit rises, tops estimates- Reuters Hand over fist, what's the problem?
Volcker out, Immelt in on economic board- NYTimes Great, the CEO of GE is on the E.B.
The 5 dumbest things on Wall Street: Jan 21- TheStreet TheStreet shouldn't talk shit
HTC sees revenue, shipments more than double- Reuters Phones are selling, baby
In Google shake-up, effort to revive start-up spark- NYTimes Goliaths can't have the vigor of youth
S&P 500 futures extend gains after GE earnings- Reuters Moonshot in 2011, mark my words
Commentary: Running the government on 8 cents- CNNMoney Trite and facile
Oil languishes below $90 amid China growth worries- AP How about languishing below $20
Senate Democrats urge the House to repeal hated IRS rule- CNN Two hands, same body. Think bout that.

January 19, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Citigroup to name new president: report- Reuters Rough at the top
US firms in China see regulation as top hurdle- Reuters Bribery seems to work though
Connecticut's Lieberman said not to seek re-election- Bberg Goodbye funnyman
Marron: Debt ceiling debate won't end in default- CNNMoney No default possibility at all
Europeans vow to get tough on bankers pay- NYTimes Shoulda done it a decade ago
Apple gives minimal disclosure about Jobs' health- AP One man made that company
In wreckage of lost jobs, lost power- NYTimes Lost souls and apathy?
Former banker linked to WikiLeaks goes on trial- Reuters Rich folk evade taxes, what's the problem?
Goldman's Facebook retreat reflects new normal- Reuters Greed ain't good no mo'?

January 17, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Apple CEO Steve Jobs takes medical leave- AP Money can't buy good health
South Africans accept Wal-Mart bid- AP Walmart is the global octopus
Airbus says it tops Boeing in plane orders in 2011- AP Europe > America
AP-GfK Poll: Opposition to health care law eases- AP They do what they are told, dimwit
US pomp meant to improve tone of China relations- AP Left hand and right hand, united
Irish premier won't quit over Ireland debt crisis- AP Why should he? He didn't trigger it.
Drama of Northeast fishing industry seen in movie- AP Fishing is exciting son
Why supermarket stocks are getting squeezed- AP Inflationary pressures piping
GM expands recall of some 2011 trucks and SUVs- AP Garbage Motors

January 15, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Time Warner Cable-Sinclair deal avoids TV blackout- AP Shenanigans
GM expands recall of some 2011 trucks and SUVs- AP Guess they found something else wrong
Toyota: Rising yen could force production shifts- AP Yen's going down and dollar's going up
Bank of America restores online banking system- AP Hackers can't stop industry son
Plan set to end government involvement in AIG- AP They'll be free to take inordinate risks again
Regulators shut small Georgia bank; 3rd this year- AP I predict 200 before the end of the year
European ministers consider boosting bailout fund- AP Garbage in, Garbage out
Holiday spending "record" not as good as it looks- AP Duh propaganda minister
Industrial production rises by most in 5 months- AP Here we go, the moonshot

January 12, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Bondholders get say in foreclosure probe- WSJ Get that money back
Public strongly opposes debt ceiling increase: poll- Reuters Debt is the American way
Banks lead stocks higher; European debt worry ebbs- Reuters Bull market phenomenon
Ill. legislature OK's steep tax hike to cut budget gap- CNNMoney Shearing the sheep as usual
Feds sue NYC for Medicaid fraud- AP How else they gonna get dough?
Goldman bankers, ascendant again- WSJ Need to be knocked down a peg or three
Whitney defends muni call, sees 'indiscriminate selling'- CNBC Stocks reaping that cash
Hot social networking site cools as Facebook grows- NYTimes Myspace was ugly anyway

January 10, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Verizon big winner from having iPhone? Not so fast- AP Nah. Subsidies cost billions, SON
Volkswagen merges into crowded midsize car market- AP Follow the leader
Intel to pay $1.5B to Nvidia in patent settlement- AP Major score for Nvidia
Alcoa posts 4Q profit as sales jump- AP Sets the tone for earnings season
Chrysler hopes to refinance government loans- AP Bailout nation
Telecoms lead stocks lower; Europe falls- AP I think telecoms boom this year
SEC charges 4 with insider trading- AP Small fish get caught, big fish don't
Fed pays US Treasury record $78.4B last year- AP Making that paper
Ford plans to hire 7,000 workers by 2012- AP The expansion is coming again

Suspect in Arizona shootings to appear in court- Reuters Homie look like one of those creepers
Hedge funds almost double bullish gas bets- Bloomberg Wrong way schmoes with trend following
Euro drops against dollar amid debt worries- AP Dollar's going up in 2011
10 things to know before the opening bell- Business Insider Strike this kind of news
1986 privacy law is outrun by the web- NYTimes The web outruns convention son
Stocks to watch: Duke Energy, Progress- TheStreet You watch them, I'm watching telecom
Goldman prop traders get backing for new fund- NYTimes Goldman should be broken up
DuPont buying Danisco for $5.8 billion- Reuters The chemical king son
California budget: $25 billion headache for Jerry Brown- CNNMoney Illusions

January 07, 2011 Headlines and commentary

December jobs report seen showing greater hiring- AP Slow and steady recovery
Decades for home prices to recover- CNNMoney Nah, just another decade
SEC rule likely to trigger Facebook IPO in 2012- AP Valuation should be a roller coaster
WH: Obama to name Sperling to top economic post- AP Pack of wolves
The 5 dumbest things on Wall Street: Jan 7- TheStreet There's only 5 dumb things?
Following Buffett's lead in wind energy- TheStreet T.Boone Pickens was first
SEC probes California over Calpers: report- Reuters Shenanigans son
Sony aims for No. 2 spot in tablet devices- Reuters Sony has-been in consumer electronics
U.S. investors need to get out more: Burton Malkiel- Tech Ticker Advice from a patzer

January 05, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Obama expected to name new economic adviser Friday- AP Same old no change crew
Buffett on Berkshire, succession and America- NYTimes Old man needs to retire
AT&T plans 20 new smartphones- Reuters None of them will hit lol
American Air holds ground in travel agent spat- Reuters Blink already chumps
Small businesses hiring surges- CNNMoney Remember what I said
J. Crew shares rise on report of possible bids- AP Buncha bums though
Starbucks gives logo a new look- AP Cleaner look is what I like Son

Sabre makes moves against American Airlines- AP Ganging up on AA like thugs
Four names top Berkshire CEO list: Vanity Fair- Reuters That Chinese dude gonna take over
Gibbs to leave post as Obama's Press Secretary - Bloomberg Bye Bye to the Rats
Jump in hiring sends bonds lower, dollar up- AP Dollar's stratospheric this year SON
Social Security, Medicare a bargain for many- USNews The sinking ship won't sail much longer
Electronics show has tech, media on edge of seats - NYTimes A busta ass show for real
Will rising gas prices kill the autos recovery?- Tech Ticker Oil's going down suckmeister
Social Media: Next dot-com bubble?- TheStreet It's already bubbling ya heard me?
Advocate: IRS liens 'torment' struggling taxpayers- AP No shit, Sherlock

F.D.I.C. seeks $2.5 billion from execs of failed banks- NYTimes Strange clawback
Samsung announces record investment, hiring- AP Building for the future, son
Communist party news site set for I.P.O.- NYTimes Money for nothing and the chicks for free
No police plan to question Citigroup execs on scam- AP Of course not, they're untouchable
Oil extends biggest drop in 7 weeks as U.S. gasoline demand slackens The slope is slippery for oil
Toshiba plans big push on glasses-free 3D TV- Reuters That shit ain't gonna be mass market
States still have time to tame debt crises: Zandi- Tech Ticker Time heals all deficits and wounds
Commodities predictions for 2011: $100 oil, $1,500 gold- CNN The reversal of this is the truth
Treasuries climb as Fed prepares to buy long-term debt- Bberg FED is a bunch of bustas

January 04, 2011 Headlines and commentary

Auto industry on upswing into 2011- Reuters The rising tide lifts all indusries
Gold prices: Correction or time to buy?- TheStreet The rug's been pulled from the bulls
For consumers, good and bad news in 2011- MarketWatch Headlines like this should be shot
No job, no credit- The Atlantic Stating the obvious
Surge in bankruptcies shows signs of slowing- AP Even the river eventually runs out
Wall Street dips as consumer shares weigh- Reuters Smile, you're on candid camera jacky
5 things you should do for your investments now- USNews Sit on them and hold on for dear life

Oil near 27-month peak- Reuters The peak before the waterfall
BP shares hit 6-month high after Shell bid report- Reuters Makes sense but doubt it will happen
Currency carry trade losses may bolster U.S. dollar- Bloomberg What carry trade?
Top lenders set for foreclosure settlement: report- Reuters Dog and Pony Show
China to slow yuan gain in 2011: Forecasters- Bloomberg Dollar's ascendant you dumbass
Bank failures in 2011: More, but smaller- Daniel Gross, Y! Finance The big are too big to fail
December U.S. retail sales: Upswing's last hurrah?- Reuters Nope, stop holding on to myths
Trading is a form of combat: Lessons from 2011- TheStreet Yep, and money is the weapon

Microsoft says lost Hotmail e-mails now restored- AP Just a lil hiccup amirite?
Investments place value of Facebook at $50 billion- AP Probably worth much more than that
Motorola to officially split into 2 companies- AP Unlock that value
BofA settlement with Fannie, Freddie "clears air"- AP Took them long enough
Stocks start 2011 with a big lift- AP The money's on stocks this year
Oil prices start the new year at a 26-month high- AP Money's going to come out of oil
Fiat CEO: 51 percent of Chrysler possible in 2011- AP Why buy a dog's ass?
Factory outlook bright after 17 months of growth- AP It's only going to get better

January 03, 2011 Headlines and commentary

BofA to take $2B charge to settle home loan claims- AP More is coming
Toshiba to sell tablet with upcoming Android OS- AP Another "Me-Too" product
`Coupon generation' wields consumer power in China- AP They don't really have the power, dummy
Blood test to spot cancer gets big boost from J&J- AP Cancer convenience
Winterkorn to remain at helm of VW- AP Not a big surprise son
World stocks rise as 2011 trading opens- AP This year is the stock boom
Fiat Autos goes solo, spins off industrial unit- AP Corporations unlock value
Apple's absence to be felt at CES gadget show- AP No need to exhibit for the cult leader
NTSB: American Airlines mishandled plane data- AP Happens all the time yal